


They Rescued Peeta

by Cjstardust



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 24,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cjstardust/pseuds/Cjstardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Peeta had been the one rescued from the Quarter Quell arena? This story will be told from the perspectives of both Peeta and Katniss, of moments in time after the rescue, and throughout the war. *Please note: may be suggestive of some adult themes/situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peeta

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. 
> 
> This story will also be posted on FanFiction.net (username: cjstardust), I'm also very new to Tumblr (username: cjstardust). 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Chapter 1: Peeta**

My name is Peeta Mellark. My home is District 12. Was. My home _was_  District 12. I won the 74th Hunger Games along with the love of my life. I was rescued from the 75th Hunger Games. Katniss was left behind. She is in the custody of the Capital.

I sit looking at Haymitch, Plutarch Heavensbee, and someone introduced to me as President Alma Coin. We’re in some sort of control room, and it’s dark. We’re sitting around a large oval table, and Haymitch sits close to me. He looks like he wants to reach out and touch me, and he looks like he wants to say something. I can hear soft beeping, and low whispers but I can’t make out what they are. How long has it been since Katniss was left in the arena? A week? 8 or 9 days?

I’ve just been informed I was rescued to lead a rebellion. A rebellion against the Capital? District 13 alive and well? Haymitch puts his hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off. I’m angry. Furious I’m in this situation. Forced into District 13, forced to talk to people who actively chose to leave Katniss behind. Nothing Haymitch can say will pacify me. Did these people honestly believe I can even function without her by my side?

“You’ve rescued the wrong person,” I sneer. “Katniss is the defender of the weak. The leader. The person who sacrifices herself to help others. The one who would do everything she could to make a world where the people she loves will be safe. The only person I have ever or would ever try to change the world for? Is the person you’ve left behind.”

I’m a painter. I’m a baker. I like to sleep with the windows open. And I double knot my shoe laces. I’m not a fighter. I’m not soldier. I wasn’t even meant to live after the reaping of the 74th Hunger Games. Everyone knew I was meant to die in that arena. The only reason I’m alive is because of my girl on fire who can sing so beautifully even the birds stop to listen. I definitely did not intend to live through the Quarter Quell. _I_ shouldn’t be here.

“Peeta. There was no choice. It was either rescue you, or leave you both behind,” I’m not even aware of who is speaking to me. It doesn’t matter. No one in this room is worthy of my attention, not after what they've done.

“Then you should have left us both. She and I protect each other.”

I get up and leave the room as quickly as I can, before anyone has the chance to stop me. No longer interested in hearing anything Haymitch has to say. He and I had a deal. He owed me. We would save Katniss Everdeen, making sure she went home from the Quarter Quell. Instead, she’s in the Capital. I’m in District 13, and I’m expected to lead a rebellion I was unaware existed until Katniss blew the force field in the arena. Most of all, I wish I could take her place. It makes me sick to think about what she could be going through.

I slowly make my way back to my room, currently in the hospital as I heal from wounds I accrued in the arena. Finnick knocked me out and cut out my tracker, causing a concussion and the need for 23 stitches. My body remained weak after hitting the force field. My leg, once whole, is sore from my prosthesis. None of it mattered. None of it. Not without her.


	2. Katniss

**Chapter 2: Katniss**

My name is Katniss Everdeen. My home is District 12. I was a victor in the 74th Hunger Games along with Peeta. My Peeta. I always intended for him to live. Where is he?

“Miss Everdeen. So happy you’ve been able to join us.”

I look at him, President Snow, staring at me with his snake-like eyes. “Where is Peeta?” I demand to know.

“Mr. Mellark was removed from the arena before the Capital hovercrafts arrived. We suspect he is in District 13.”

“District 13?” I reply. I’m completely shocked. District 13?

“Indeed. As we have discussed previously, there has been talk of an uprising in several of the districts. I believe, strongly, that I have been betrayed by my very own gamemaker. Plutarch Heavensbee is missing. As is your very own Haymitch Abernathy. We suspect they are in District 13 and planning to lead a rebellion against the Capital.”

“No!”

“Oh yes. You’ve been left behind, my dear Miss Everdeen. And it will be your district, and you, that will pay for this,” he grins at me, laughing at the expression of horror on my face. He turns toward a monitor, and I follow the direction with my eyes. I watch helplessly as I see my home burning to the ground, hear screams of people who were unable to escape the fire bombs.

Tears roll down my face as I begin to hyperventilate. “You killed them. You killed them. For something I didn’t intend? For an uprising I had no intention of being used as a symbol for?”

“No Miss Everdeen. I killed them because Peeta escaped. I killed them because this rebellion began in District 12. I killed them because they showed loyalty to you and not the Capital. I killed them because a rebellion is alive and well throughout every district now.”

“I did everything you asked. I was prepared to live the rest of my life with him. In the Quarter Quell I was prepared to die for him. You have to know we knew nothing about this. You have to know he had no idea,” I whisper frantically.

“I do know that, Miss Everdeen. I strongly suspect he has no interest in helping the rebellion. He loves you, you know. For him it has never been an act. How will he react being held captive by the people who left you behind? It will destroy him to know that you have been hurt. And I do so intend to destroy him.” As he laughs maniacally, allowing the peacekeepers to drag me from the room, I begin to sob uncontrollably. For my precious boy with the bread. For my home, and the people who lived there. Prim? My mother? Gale? The Hawthornes? Madge? Oh my God. Is everyone dead?


	3. Peeta

**Chapter 3: Peeta**

 “I wanted to go back to get her, Peeta. And Finnick,” Johanna Mason sits next to my bed. “When Katniss blew the force field, I couldn’t move. Too close to the lightening tree, I guess.”

 I look at her. I know I can’t blame her for Katniss being left behind. I don’t even know who to blame. Haymitch for ignoring our deal? Plutarch for putting this plan in motion to begin a rebellion? Finnick, for not cutting out Katniss’ tracker instead of mine? “I love her, you know,” I say softly. “I’ve loved her since I was five years old.”

 “I know,” Johanna replied.

 “It was never an act for me. And after my heart stopped when I hit the force field, I don’t think it was an act for her either.”

 “I know, Peeta.”

 I shut my eyes. Willing myself not to let any tears escape.

 The monitor across the room blinks on, softly playing the theme accompanying so many mandatory viewings from the Capital. Caesar Flickerman pops on screen. “Hello! Welcome all my wonderful viewers to a very special edition of The Hunger Games review. The Quarter Quell. What really happened in that arena? I’m here, with our very favorite girl on fire, Katniss Everdeen.”

 I gasp loudly, tears springing to my eyes as I finally see my beautiful girl. She is beautiful, despite the very prominent dark splotches under her eyes. “What have they done to her?” I ask rhetorically. She’s lost weight since I’d last seen her…10 days ago? Is that how long it’s been?

 “She’s alive, Peeta. That has to mean something,” Johanna replies.

 “Hello Caesar,” Katniss says. No smile for the cameras.

 “Katniss. Walk me through what happened in the arena,”

 Katniss looks from the camera to Caesar. “Well Caesar, I can tell you that I had no idea something bigger than us, than the games, was set in motion after Peeta and I nearly ate nightlock in the 74th Hunger Games. I can tell you that I was prepared to die in that arena to keep Peeta safe.”

 “But what was going through your mind when you shot the arrow that blew out the force field in the arena?” Caesar leans toward Katniss. I clutch at my sheets.

 “I can tell you that before the announcement of the Quarter Quell, I was expected to perform a certain way to calm any uprisings that were happening in the districts. I can tell you that I did not perform as well as expected, people continued to defy the Capital in the districts, and in reaction I was sent to a second hunger games. My wonderful Stylist, Cinna, was brutally killed in front of me seconds before I entered the arena for the Quarter Quell, only because he turned me into a mockingjay with a dress.” Katniss’ voice has become more frantic with each word uttered. Caesar holds up his hand and tries to interrupt Katniss, but she’s still talking. “President Snow expects me to say the right things, and do the right things, to pacify the districts. I will not be doing that. I will not bow to pressure to say certain things now, not when my district has been burned to the ground, and I know Peeta is safe. I can tell you, without any reservations, that I love Peeta with everything that I am.”

 I stop breathing as I hear what she’s said. She looks straight at the camera. “I would have died for him in the arena. I’m living in captivity for him. And I would die for him now. Peeta, if you can see this, if you can hear me, I love you. I’m so sorry I figured it out too late.”

 Caesar looked frantically around him, as if he expected someone to turn off the cameras, to shut Katniss up. I sit up in my bed looking at my girl, and watched her, so very proud of her.

 She continues to talk. “I can tell you I’m expected to address Panam and call for a cease fire. But I will not do that. I will not do that Caesar, and I will tell you why. We have lived in a world that accepts that every year for 75 years, it is acceptable to send children to their deaths. We have lived in a world that thinks it’s normal for the Capital to live to excess, to eat and eat, and throw up only to eat more, while the people living in the districts starve. I know Peeta, wherever he is, is safe. I can only suspect that my family is dead. I will not say what President Snow wants me to say, and I will not be used as a tool to hurt Peeta,” she is cut off when a peacekeeper appears, backhanding her face.

 “Katniss!” I scream.

 She falls to the ground, her face hitting the floor. Blood splatters surround her head and I see her chest move as the cameras turn off. Oh God. She’s breathing. She’s alive, but for how long? They will never let her live, not after what she said. I start screaming. I jump from my bed, ripping out my IV. I grab a nearby table and throw it across the room.

 “Peeta!” Johanna screams at me, but her frantic call does nothing to calm my rage. A nurse rushes in, along with some people I assume are soldiers. The soldiers run for me, pushing me up against a wall while I struggle. The nurse injects me with something, making me weak. My final thought before succumbing to the darkness, is of Katniss’ beautiful face, laying on the ground surrounded by blood. She doesn’t even know her family is alive.


	4. Katniss

**Chapter 4: Katniss**

 My cell is sparse. Dull grey walls, a large metal door. There is a small window in the door, allowing for food and water to be delivered. Not that I have received either in what feels like days. My mouth is so dry my tongue feels like sandpaper. How long have I been here? My fingers go to my cheek, gently. The right side of my face is swollen, my lower lip split in three places. When I was backhanded, my teeth cut the inside of my cheek. I can still taste and smell my own blood. The swelling has not gone down, and it’s hot to the touch. My teeth ache and feel a little loose. My knees are sore from being dragged back to my cell. I’m glad I don’t have a mirror to allow me to see how I look. As long as Peeta is safe, everything is worth it.

 “Katniss!” I hear someone whisper frantically. “Katniss! Are you alright?”

I’m disoriented, confused. “Peeta?” I whisper, before my brain clears enough to remember that Peeta is no longer with me. Who is? Who was left behind with me? “Finnick?”

 “It’s me, Katniss. Are you ok? You’ve been moaning and screaming, and I could not get your attention before now,” he says.

 I must have had nightmares. Only Peeta’s arms were able to lessen the nightmares. “I’m ok Finnick. Just a little beaten up,” I respond. I don’t know what to say to him. How do you tell someone you are expecting to die any moment? How do you tell someone that you deliberately provoked the anger of a powerful man to fuel whatever fire was roaring within the districts, and to let the boy you love know that you would sacrifice everything for him, especially now that your family is dead? “How are you?” I ask. It seems insincere coming from me now, while we are both locked in cells.

 “A little beaten up, like you. I wish we were dead,” he says, and though it’s morbid, I understand the sentiment. Death would be easier than life, when life is like this. Locked in a cell, beaten for voicing opinions. I let out a breath that sounds like a snort. I laugh softly without humor. “Hopefully this won’t be bad for you. Since you don’t know anything,” Finnick says.

 He obviously has no idea what I’ve done. He has no idea that I’ve been beaten for ignoring President Snow’s command to call for a cease fire, instead using the platform of Caesar Flickerman’s show to accuse President Snow of exactly what he’s done. Burning my district to the ground. Forcing me into a second Hunger Games when I was unable to calm the districts from an uprising.

 “I don’t think that’s true Finnick. I’ve done something…” my voice trails off as we hear the sound of army boots marching towards our cells. My door is wrenched open, and four peacekeepers stand above me. Two grab for my arms, two for my legs, as I’m carried out. I fight my captors. “Let her go!” I hear Finnick scream, as I’m strapped to some sort of table.

 President Snow snarls at me, “Miss Everdeen. I understand you have chosen not to help me. I thought we could be allies. But I know now that we can’t.”

 “Have I at least convinced you that I love him?”

 “It’s the people we love the most that destroy us,” President snow says in reply. It’s at that moment I feel the needle going into my arm.


	5. Peeta

**Chapter 5: Peeta**

I wake up to see the white walls of my hospital room. It doesn’t take long to realize my arms are strapped to the bed. I glance at my right wrist. The black strap looks so out of place in the white room.

“So, you’re awake.”

It’s Haymitch. My betrayer. I look at him with swollen eyes. “I can’t believe you left her there,” I say softly.

“Well, I can’t believe you let her out of your sight that night, so I guess we’re even,” Haymitch responds. “You’ll be happy to know, though, that President Coin has decided to go get her.”

“What?” I’m astonished.

“After Katniss’ interview with Caesar, and after talking to you about leading the rebellion, she understands the value in rescuing Katniss.”

“So she finally realized the rebellion can only be successful with Katniss as a leader?” I wonder aloud.

“Oh no. She still believes in you, my boy. She just understands that not only is Katniss valuable in reaching the districts, but you are completely useless without her.”

I am. He’s right. I’m completely useless without Katniss.

Haymitch continues talking, though my mind is completely occupied with thoughts of my girl. “Katniss, true to her “girl on fire” nickname has fueled the flames of rebellion in the districts. Her interview with Caesar really sparked something. And the two of you together will be unstoppable in gaining support.”

“I have to get ready, I have to go with them!” I exclaim, ignoring everything Haymitch has said.

“Easy. They’ve already left. They are on their way right now.”

“How?” I demand to know, pounding my fist down on my bed, but it does nothing to satisfy my anger. “How is it suddenly possible to go get her, and why wasn’t she rescued right away?” My face feels hot, and I know it’s bright red. Anger presents itself in bizarre ways. My fists are clenched, my jaw tight. My teeth are grinding together as I wait for Haymitch to respond. He looks away from me, unable to meet my eyes. I know I’m glaring.

“Beetee was able to infiltrate their security system undetected, and have shut down all their military defense,” Haymitch says quickly. “He’s been working nonstop since we arrived to be able to do this.”

“How?”

“He invented the system,” Haymitch responds. “They have no idea that every technology they have to detect hovercrafts, and every weapon they have in defense is inactive. They will have no idea that our crew is even there.”

“What crew?” My stomach muscles clench as I wait for Haymitch to say the name Gale.  

“It’s a crew of volunteers only, and wouldn’t you know the very first volunteer was none other than Mr. Hawthorne.”

I was not surprised. I did not feel the rush of jealousy running through my veins I usually do when I hear his name. I know Gale has kissed her. I know that Gale loves her. But I also know that no matter what, whether she is rescued and lives the rest of her life with Gale, I will always be indebted to him for saving her.

“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper. “As long as she’s safe. It doesn’t matter who saves her.”

Haymitch finally looks into my eyes. “When the Quell was announced and I realized what it meant for us, I was so angry. I knew it meant that she would be in another arena with you, or me. You came to me right away asking to save her,” Haymitch’s tone is serious, and I focus on him. “You came right away. She showed up after. I knew she was going to ask me to take your place, I knew she cared about you enough to want to save you. But I still told her that she could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve you,” he flinches as he finishes his confession.

“What?” I demand. “Haymitch what—?”

“I know, boy. You could not say anything right now that would make me feel more miserable and guilty than I already do. I knew I was wrong when I said it. I know I’m wrong now. But I have never been more sure that she loves you than when she addressed the camera and spoke to you. I _know_ she would die for you. And I’m hoping you will have the courage to live for her, no matter what has been done to her in the Capital,” his eyes are swimming with tears.

I don’t know what to say to him. I can’t absolve him of any guilt, and wouldn’t even if I could. How can I condone him telling her she will never deserve me?

“Come with me,” Haymitch says, unstrapping my wrists from the bed. He leads me to the control room where I was first introduced to President Coin. I see soldiers on a monitor, one is Gale, and I immediately know that I’m allowed to watch Katniss’ rescue. Haymitch has let me into the control room to watch the mission, and for the first time since I woke up after being rescued from the arena, my anger at Haymitch dissipates. The crew gets through the air defense, and makes their way to the tribute center where Katniss and Finnick are being held. I have no idea if they have other captors. I’m not even ashamed to say the only person I think of is Katniss. My family is dead. The bakery did not survive the bombings in District 12. Katniss is all I have left.


	6. Katniss

**Chapter 6: Katniss**

Tracker-Jacker venom. I was taken from my cell only to be injected with Tracker-Jacker venom. Similarly, to the first games when I was stung by a tracker-jacker, I have violent hallucinations of my father’s death, my mother checking out on life, and nearly starving to death trying to feed my family. Prim. My sweet little sister I’ve only ever wanted to protect.

I’m screaming at my mother, begging her to love us. Begging her to feed us. Begging her to look at me. How can she completely check out and not even look at me?

I’m starving. Too hungry and weak to even cry. My sister is skin and bones. I don’t even look at my mother because she doesn’t look at me.

I’m sitting in the rain. Leaning against the tree outside the Mellark family bakery. I can smell yeast in the air, but I have no energy. Peeta, the youngest boy, comes out the door. He’s the same age as me. We’ve been in the same class, and I’ve noticed him watching me walk home with my sister. Everyday. What’s he holding? Is it bread? He looks me in the eye. And throws the bread at the pigs.

No. No. No. Peeta is the only reason my mother, my sister, and I survived. He tossed the bread to us, not the pigs. The Peeta I see is not the Peeta I know. What I’m seeing is not want happened. Peeta. My Peeta would never have left us to starve.

Peeta is kind. And generous. And he has loved me since we were five years old. He took a beating from his mother to feed us. I close my eyes but the scene before me I still see. No. Peeta would never have thrown the bread to the pigs.

I never wanted to love. After seeing how loving my father destroyed my mother when he died, I never wanted to take the risk. I never wanted to love someone so much that my entire world would be destroyed if something happened to them. I’ve only ever loved Prim that much. I volunteered for The Hunger Games in order to protect my little sister, to keep her from feeling any pain. And I planned on Prim being the last person I ever loved. Until Peeta. I love Peeta. So much, that the thought of him in pain destroys me. If I’m entirely honest with myself, I think I’ve loved him since the moment he threw me the bread.

Why am I not seeing what really happened? Is it the tracker-jacker venom? Are they trying to distort my memory? They don’t realize that I know Peeta to my core. I _know_ him. But still, they are trying to destroy me. Isn’t that what Snow wants? To destroy the victors who humiliated the Capital? I hope it’s not working. I hope my Peeta is safe. I hope for every moment I’ve suffered that he finds a way to be happy. I do not mind dying for him. I do not mind being tortured for him. Unless, of course, my torture is used to hurt him.

I’m taken back to my cell. I can still feel my muscles twitch, protesting the torture and the venom that was injected into my veins. I hear people asking me about Peeta. They want to know about Peeta? They know all they need to know, and they won’t be getting any information from me.

In the distance I hear screaming. Finnick? I can’t tell. I cover my ears to drown out the sound.

As long as Peeta is safe, they cannot hurt me.


	7. Peeta

**Chapter 7: Peeta**

The crew has safely entered the tribute center. They search floor by floor, releasing a gas that puts peacekeeper after peacekeeper to sleep.

The lights are bright. I cannot imagine they can possibly get away with successfully infiltrating the enemy camp and bringing my girl back alive. Something is bound to go wrong. The gas will fail. A peacekeeper will remain awake and aware, able to alert others as to what is going on. President Snow himself will be present. They will have a chemical agent in the air that counteracts the effects of the gas. I don’t know. But I do know, that despite being in two Hunger Game arenas, I have never felt more scared. Before, I knew Katniss could take care of herself. She had her bow and she was smart and I never worried about her to the point of panic. Now, however, my heart is pounding so hard and my head is so light I think I might pass out. She doesn’t have her bow with her now, and even if she did the peacekeeper weapons are faster. How will they make it out of this?

“We’ve found the victors,” one of the soldiers says. I think his name is Corporeal Boggs. I hold my breath, waiting to hear if they found her alive. “Everdeen is here. She’s unconscious, but her breathing is normal, heartbeat steady. Found Odair. There is another occupied room here. It seems to hold Miss Effie Trinket.”

Next to me, Haymitch stiffens. I look at him, surprised. “Why would they take Effie?” I ask softly.

“They might have thought she knew something,” his voice is strained.

“Did she?”

“Never. I never wanted to expose her. I knew she was sympathetic to you and Katniss, but I had no way of knowing if she was trustworthy concerning this.” Haymitch sounds like he’s struggling with an emotional lump in his throat. For Effie?

“Effie,” I hear him mutter under his breath. I see her then. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her without an elaborate wig, or ridiculous dress. I imagine that she would be very upset to know what we’ve seen her this way. I go to turn away, but then I catch sight of her. Katniss.

I see Katniss lifted into the arms of a soldier. I’m not surprised the soldier holding her is Gale. Her face shifts toward the screen and I see that her lower lip is coated with dried blood. Her face is swollen. Both her eyes are surrounded with bruises. Oh God.

“Katniss,” I whisper, before I give in to my panic. My vision goes black and I fall to the floor.


	8. Katniss

**Chapter 8: Katniss**

My body continues to twitch as the tracker-jacker venom tries to work its way out of my blood stream. I’ve long since stopped listening to the sounds around me. Finnick’s screams ended long ago. I’m honestly not sure he’s even alive at this point. So much death surrounds me. All I ever wanted to do was protect my sister. How did protecting Prim turn into this?

I saw my sister in Rue. A young girl that had absolutely no business being sent to an arena to die. What gives people like President Snow the ability to decide that every year the districts need to “sacrifice” their children? We, every single one of us, has given that power to the President. To the Capital.

Things need to change, don’t they? As much as I wanted to protect my family and prevent a war, there was nothing I could do to stop President Snow from fire-bombing District 12. I did what was asked of me. I presented my love story to the world. I committed to marrying Peeta for the world to see. I not only convinced President Snow, I convinced myself I love Peeta. I do. I love him. I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve him. But none of that convinced the districts to stop fighting. To stop voicing anti-Capital sentiments. And why should my love story have prevented any of that?

Despite what President Snow has led me to believe, a 17-year-old girl is not capable of preventing a war that has been building for 75 years. I may have set things in motion when I cried for a young girl who died in my arms, and covered her in wildflowers. I may have introduced the idea of defiance when I made myself clear, in no uncertain terms that the Capital does not need to have their victor when I gave Peeta half the nightlock berries. None of my actions were made with the idea that I wanted to overthrow the Capital. I just wanted to protect a young girl and die as myself.

My family is gone. Peeta’s family is gone. District 12 and everyone I knew there is gone. Would I have done what I did in the first arena if I knew this would be the outcome? I’m not sure I could have done anything any differently than what I did. I never would have left Rue dying and gone about my way. I never could have killed Peeta without him actively threatening my life, which _he_ never could have done. I could not have left Peeta to die of blood poisoning. Not when we were both given a chance to go home. District 8 would have been angry and resentful about Rue without my interference. For the young precious girl who died far too soon.

Life will never be normal again. I can only hope that now, with Peeta safely away from the Capital, that the districts will revolt, the Capital will fall, the Games will be ended, and all the death and destruction will not have been in vain. Those deaths will mean something. And my death? I hope it means _something_. Something bigger than I ever could have imagined. Is it wrong of me to hope my death can change a brutal world?

I hear a commotion outside my room, bringing me out of my thoughts. I crawl to the tiny window in my door to try to see the commotion. I hear something metallic hitting the cold tile floor, a foggy mist rising from the ground, and I see three peacekeepers drop to the floor. Is this how they plan to kill me? Is this the horrific poisonous gas that killed Mags in the Quarter Quell?

I shut my eyes as tightly as I can. What is going on?


	9. Peeta

**Chapter 9: Peeta**

When I wake up, Prim is by my side. I vaguely remember she has been training in the hospital and is now taking care of me. I’m ashamed. I’m sure Gale checked up on her and her mother frequently, while I’ve been wallowing in my own misery over Katniss. Gale has always protected her family. What the hell have I protected? I couldn’t protect my family. Myself. I couldn’t even protect the girl I care about more than anything else in the world.

“You’re still weak Peeta. You should have been in bed,” she admonishes. But I know she understands my concern was not for myself, only Katniss. “Haymitch never should have let you leave the hospital.”

“Katniss?” I ask. My throat is dry and my voice comes out scratchy.

“They made it safely. Katniss, Finnick, Effie, and they found Darius there too.”

Darius, who had been turned into an Avox after helping us defend Gale. Darius, who was forced to serve us in our quarters in the tribute center before the Quarter Quell.

“Where is she?” I ask frantically. I’m only slightly ashamed I’ve not asked about the others. It’s been 12 days since I was rescued from the Quarter Quell. 12 days since Katniss was left behind. I’ve thought of nothing else but her in that time.

“She’s here, in the hospital. She is still under the influence of the gas so she hasn’t woken up yet. I’m willing to take you to her so you can be by her side when she wakes up.” I finally notice Prim is holding my hand. I give her hand a squeeze and hope she knows the depth of my gratitude.

I sit up quickly, my IV pulling on my arm. But I hardly feel the discomfort. I get up and Prim grabs my arm. We walk slowly to the room Katniss is in. Along the way I spot Finnick. Annie is sitting by his bedside, holding his hand. He’s a mess. His hair stained an unnatural color of red, and a doctor is stitching several cuts along his arm. Several cuts have already been stitched on his face. What the hell did they do to him? I nod at Annie, but continue on. She’s with her love. I still have to find mine. Prim and I continue toward the door Katniss is behind.

I briefly wonder where Darius and Effie are, but my thoughts are redirected back to Katniss.

Gale is standing outside Katniss’ room. I take a deep breath and walk directly to him. “Thank you,” I say sincerely. I can never repay him for bringing her here. Rescuing her from torture. He looks me in the eye, and nods. I walk through the doors and spot Haymitch. He waves me over and Prim allows me to go, letting go of my arm.

The room is stark white, and looks identical to my own. I sit in the chair next to Katniss’ bed. I thread my fingers through hers, and press her hand to my forehead. It’s so difficult to look into her beautiful face, swollen and multi-colored from abuse. “Katniss,” I whisper, “I love you. From the very first day I saw you. And I love you now, my brave, brave girl.” I feel her fingers tighten, and I look up into her beautiful grey eyes.

“Peeta,” she whispers, blinking slowly. As if she’s in between wakefulness and sleep. “Peeta,” she says more firmly. “Peeta!” she exclaims sitting up and throwing herself into my arms. She buries her face in my neck.

“Oh God,” I say, breathing her in deeply. I turn my head and find her lips with mine. I kiss her gently, cognizant of her injuries. She responds with a deeper kiss, kissing me deeper and deeper until we have to break apart to breathe.

“I thought I would never see you again,” she says softly. “Peeta. Oh my God, I thought I was too late to ever tell you. I love you. I tried not to, but I do. Every moment of everyday we were apart I thought of you.”

Overcome, I press my lips to her undamaged forehead.


	10. Katniss

**Chapter 10: Katniss**

I wake up hearing Peeta's voice but I know I must be imagining it. The last thing I remember is seeing peacekeepers drop to the floor while some sort of foggy mist invaded my cell. Is Peeta’s voice another hallucination brought on by tracker jacker venom? I feel like I’ve been hallucinating Peeta feeding the bread to the pigs for days. Days I’ve relived my father’s death and my mother’s neglect. No amount of venom could make me forget Peeta is kind. And generous. And he loves me.

I open my eyes and see Peeta pressing the back of my hand to his forehead. "Peeta. Peeta. PEETA!" I say with increasing intensity. I throw myself at him. Not caring one bit that other people are in the room watching our display. I honestly don’t even care if he catches me or we both fall to the floor.

"Oh God" I hear him whisper, inhaling deeply. He finds my lips with his, and I can tell he's kissing me gently because he thinks I'm hurt. He has no idea that the slight pain of my split lip reminds me that this is _real_. He's with me. He's kissing me without cameras to capture it. And I've never felt more alive.

"I thought I would never see you again. Peeta. Oh my God. I thought I was too late to ever tell you. I love you. I tried not to, but I do. Every moment of everyday we were apart I thought of you," I feel like I've never been more sincere. I feel his lips pressing against my forehead and I wrap my arms tightly around him.

I look over and finally feel shyness start to take over when I notice we're being watched. Haymitch stands near the door, and after one last strong squeeze, and a well-placed kiss to Peeta's throat, I wiggle out of his arms to go to Haymitch. I stop in front of him. "Thank you. For sticking to our deal. For doing whatever it took to keep Peeta alive," Haymitch tilts his head at me.

"You're welcome, sweetheart" he says and pulls me in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re safe now.”

The door opens, and I step away from Haymitch. My eyes going to the door to find out who walked into the room. My mother. Prim. Both standing there with tears in their eyes. "Oh my God!" I exclaim. I rush to them as quickly as my weakened body will take me. "I thought you were dead. Snow showed me footage of bombing 12. I thought you were all dead." I was sobbing uncontrollably while my mother and Prim embraced me.

"Gale helped us escape. The peacekeepers left in a hurry and Gale knew something was wrong. He got us out, and the Hawthornes. There are about 900 of us here in 13 now, the rest didn’t make it,” Prim says, with a quiver in her voice. “The bombers were coming and he saved everyone he could," my mother added.

I turned to Peeta. “The bakery?” I ask, though deep inside I already know the answer.

“The bakery didn’t survive,” Peeta tells me, as he comes close enough to take my hand.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta,” I whisper, moving close and taking him into my arms. “So sorry.”

I feel other arms wrap around us and glance to see my mother and Prim joining our hug. Then Haymitch. Even Gale. We stay wrapped around Peeta for several minutes before we’re interrupted by a nurse.

“Excuse me, but Miss Everdeen and Mr. Mellark are still recovering. You both need your rest.”

We all laugh softly, and separate. All but two of us anyway. Now that we’ve been reunited, I’m not sure anything can separate us.


	11. Peeta

**Chapter 11: Peeta**

The doctors and nurses allowed Katniss to be moved into my hospital room. Once they realized we refused to separate, and when they finally realized that trying to separate us only causes our anxiety levels to increase ten-fold, they stopped arguing that we would do better in our own rooms. They can see what everyone in Panam saw beginning in the 74th Hunger Games. We do better when we’re together.

I haven’t let go of her hand for 24 hours. Luckily, the majority of Katniss’ injuries are superficial and mine are healing well. The doctors expect us to be able to move into our own quarters outside the hospital in a few days.

I can tell her mother doesn’t really approve of how close we are, but neither of us care. We’ve lived through so much, and we’re not going to spend one second apart that we don’t have to. I can’t tell if Katniss’ mom is so nervous because she knows what it’s like to love this deeply, and she also knows what it’s like to lose that love, or if it might be because we’re so young.

I don’t feel young. After everything I’ve lived through, after everything I’ve lived through with Katniss, I can’t imagine wasting one single moment without her.

I’m sitting on our hospital bed, _another_ thing the doctor’s needed to be convinced about, and I’m watching Katniss rest. She’s restless, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Is it our time in the games? Is she dreaming about what the Capital did to her while we were separated? She has been open about the things that happened to her in the tribute center, but I know that she might never get over things that happened when she was left behind. I know _I_ will never get over things that happened when she was left behind.

Suddenly, she starts to scream. I frantically grab her arms. “It’s ok. Katniss. It’s not real. You’re with me,” I say to her.

Her eyes open, but they are unseeing. She doesn’t see that it’s me. “Katniss. Katniss. It’s not real,” I pull her into my arms.

She takes a deep breath. “Peeta,” she whispers. “You didn’t give me the bread.”

I didn’t give her the bread? I have no idea what she’s talking about. “Katniss. Sweetheart.”

She finally looks into my eyes, but her eyes are vacant in a way I’ve never seen.

“Katniss?”


	12. Katniss

**Chapter 12: Katniss**

Flashbacks to my hallucinations under tracker-jacker venom appear every time I close my eyes. I mostly see Peeta throwing the bread to the pigs. I can talk my way out of the flashback by telling myself that Peeta is kind and generous and he loves me. The flashbacks never last long, and I’m thankful I was only injected with venom once. Would multiple injections have caused me to forget Peeta loved me? I can’t imagine living in a world where Peeta doesn’t love me.

Peeta is devastated every time this happens. It’s been two days since my first flashback. I can see the horror in his face when I come out of the flashback with cramping hands. I’ve tended to clutch onto whatever I can find. Usually I clutch at Peeta’s hand but occasionally the back of chair, or the hospital bed frame. He doesn’t understand yet that the flashbacks mean nothing to me. He’s here. He’s safe. And he’s _real_.

My family is safe. Prim and my mother. Even Gale is safe, and I feel entirely free to love Peeta. It’s been such a short time I’ve known what it’s like to be loved by someone like Peeta, but I’m addicted. I will never give that feeling up. And I hope with everything I have in me that he knows I love him too.

As soon as Peeta and I were deemed well enough to leave the hospital, we were shuffled to a control room where the last 15 days we were separated were explained to me in the simplest, most clinical way possible. Peeta and I held hands the entire time. I haven’t been able to give up the lifeline of holding onto his hand. He keeps me steady.

Peeta was rescued to lead a revolution, I was left behind because I still had my tracker implanted in my arm. Half the tributes in the Quarter Quell were involved, but we weren’t because Snow was monitoring our every movement. The morphling sacrificing herself for Peeta makes sense now.

When President Coin, Plutarch, and Haymitch discovered Peeta’s thoughts are entirely encompassed with me, they realized he needed me. He needed me to be by his side, and he needed me to be safe before he could even be functional as a human being. At least, that’s what everyone has told me. I don’t believe it. Peeta is the most entirely _human_ person I know.

Plutarch told me that after my interview with Caesar sparked riots in the districts, they realized they needed me as well.

I don’t mind when I’m told why Peeta was rescued and not me. He is charming, charismatic, and people love him. Of course he was chosen to lead a rebellion. I’m a personality that is very difficult to swallow for most people. Really, it’s a miracle Peeta has ever wanted me.

What really throws me off balance, is when Plutarch introduces the idea that Peeta and I reach out to the districts together. He wants to film propaganda, propos, that show the two of us as a united front leading a rebellion against the Capital. They want to put us on camera?  They want us to show the districts our love story is real, but we turned against the Capital once the Quarter Quell was announced. They want us to tell the world we are so angry they would allow us to live, only to put us back in an arena to die, that we will not stand for the Capital’s treatment of us. They want us to say that we’ve lost the baby Peeta lied about in the Quarter Quell, and it is President Snow’s fault.  

What is different about District 13 putting us on camera to show us as a united front, and when the Capital put us on camera to show us as a united front? I never voice this thought out loud, but try to communicate with Peeta silently.

We’ve been used as a tool before. District 13 is trying to use us a tool now. Someone explain to me, _please_ , how this new government we’re living under in 13 is different from the government forced on us by the Capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	13. Peeta

**Chapter 13: Peeta**

President Snow figured out very quickly that he had been outsmarted and Katniss, Finnick, Darius and Effie were missing from the tribute center. I would have loved to have seen his face when he realized Katniss was gone. He wanted to use her as a tool, as he’s used so many tributes that have come before her. We did feel the impact of President Snow’s anger when he sent Capital bombers to bomb District 13. It took less than 72 hours after Katniss was rescued for the bombers to arrive. Luckily, that reaction was anticipated by President Coin, and we were all far enough underground that the bombs make little difference for us.

The bombing lasted around 8 hours, and Katniss and I, along with her family, were all bunkered down miles below the surface in the bomb shelters. District 13 was designed and built specifically to be able to survive below ground. Katniss and I were both still technically residents of the hospital, but well enough to be away from the constant care of IVs and nurses. District 13 had no casualties.

Then, the pro-Capital propaganda started to air throughout Panam. Propaganda that labeled Katniss, Finnick, Darius, Effie, Haymitch, Plutarch, and especially _me,_ traitors, deserters, rebels, and criminals. We wear the label of rebel proudly. Caesar Flickerman listed us one by one, labeled us further as misinformed and delusional, and called for a cease-fire. We know, as well as they know, that there will be no cease-fire. The rebellion is thriving throughout the districts.

Katniss and I have never been closer. Literally. We’ve been officially released from the hospital, and we were allowed to move into our own living quarters. It feels amazing to wrap her in my arms, to have her turn to me in the night when she has a nightmare. My arms are always there to comfort her. It’s a feeling like nothing else when she kisses me. There are no cameras here, in our own little world. Here, in the space we are allowed to call our own, we aren’t performing for anyone.

There are strict rules here in District 13. Everyone wears the same type of clothing. We all eat the same general food, food focused on nutrition but never taste. No one is really allowed to go aboveground without direct permission from the President. No unmarried couples may live together. Katniss agreed to be their Mockingjay, and I agreed to walk every step by her side, if they agreed to allow us to remain together. It wasn’t much of a fight, not when they began to see the impact we could have when we are together. And not when the majority of 13 believes that Katniss and I were married before the Quarter Quell. Honestly, in my heart I already feel like we _are_ married. In my mind, I already think of Katniss as my wife.

Katniss became convinced her decision was the right one for us when Plutarch gave her Cinna’s design for our outfits. They match, each holding elements that are unique, and elements that coincide. For instance, Katniss’ mockingjay pin has been etched into the armor covering our hearts. Among Cinna’s designs, she found a note he’d written to her before he died. One that told her he’s betting on her. She had tears in her eyes when she read it, but when she looked at me, I saw only determination. She wants to change the world for the better. And I want to change the world for her.

I know Katniss is uncomfortable with filming propos. She has never said anything out loud, but her body tensed and she squeezed my hand when Plutarch first mentioned it. I could hear her voice in my head, “What is the difference between filming our love story for President Snow, and filming our love story for District 13?” The look in her eyes is frantic. I’m not comfortable with the whole thing either. Her concern is justified. We know, absolutely, that things in the Capital have to change, but who is to say District 13’s way is the “right” way? And for purely selfish reasons, I don’t want to be on camera with Katniss again. Not after I know what it’s like to have her love me for real.

Every night I lose her in my dreams and wake up in panic, she’s there. Once I realize she’s with me, my panic completely disappears. Katniss’ nightmares are much more complicated.

When Beetee and Plutarch finally explained to me what Katniss meant when she said “You didn’t give me the bread,” I was horrified. Tracker Jacker venom? Beetee explained it’s a form of torture. Fear conditioning, they told me. Not much is known about that type of torture, because the Capital uses it very rarely. But Plutarch told me they can only assume they were attempting to erase any positive memories or feelings Katniss had for me.

Now that I have her back, it’s so obvious. I can finally see what everyone else has seen. She loves me. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me. I can feel it in her touch when she’s holding my hand. I can feel it in her lips when she kisses me. What we have is real.


	14. Katniss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of the readers leaving kudos, comments, and bookmarks!

**Chapter 14: Katniss**

I’ve never been the most verbal person. I couldn’t even talk to Peeta after he saved my family from starving to death to utter two simple words. I couldn’t even thank him. I’m even less verbal now.

I can’t speak freely here. It’s almost like the walls are listening. Sometimes the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, as I get the feeling I’m being watched.

This isn’t normal, is it?

We, of course, lived a very tough life in District 12, but I was able to leave. I was able to escape through the fence into the woods, and recharge. Here, underground, I haven’t see the sun in days.

We are shooting our first propos today. Peeta and I. It took Haymitch to convince us to even try. It took Cressida, Messala, Castor, and Pollux to convince me that it was a good idea. If we reach the districts, if we gain support, all those deaths have to mean something, right? We could change the world and end the Games. And no family will ever have to send their children on a train to their death again.

“We stand here together. United not only in love, but against a common enemy. The Capital,” I repeat woodenly. I clutch Peeta’s hand but the words still come out garbled and insincere. Peeta looks at me and smiles. He’s encouraging, but words written for me have never come easily out of my mouth. Words in general have never come easily out of my mouth.

I vaguely hear Plutarch yelling at me, but I’ve tuned him out. Haymitch appears, gesturing Peeta and I into the control room.

“I think we can all agree that what we just saw is exactly how a revolution dies,” Haymitch says. Plutarch and President Coin nod, and I look down at my feet.

“Who can tell me of a moment when Katniss genuinely made you feel something. Not because you were envious of her outfit or when Peeta made you like her. A moment when you genuinely felt something.”       

“When she volunteered for her sister,” Effie says. She was released from the hospital before Peeta and me. I’ve noticed she’s never far from Haymitch’s side.

“When she screamed Peeta’s name after finding out there could be 2 victors,” Gale says. I feel so awkward around him now. He was my best friend in the world, and now I don’t even feel like I can talk to him.

“When she sang that song for the little girl,” Corporeal Boggs says. I didn’t realize District 13 was able to see the Games. Have they been watching children die for 75 years?

“Excellent. Volunteered. Screamed for Peeta. Sang for Rue. What do all these moments have in common?” Haymitch asks, as though the answer should be obvious to everyone.

“No one told her what to say,” Peeta says, squeezing my hand.

“Exactly,” replies Haymitch, throwing up his hands. “Katniss cannot be scripted. She’s passionate, but she cannot be forced to be passionate. She’s capable of doing this, but she cannot be scripted. This has to come from her, or it will never work.”

Plutarch and President Coin look at each other. “What are you suggesting?” President Coin asks.

“Send her out into the field. Send them both out into the field. Send the cameras with them. You will never get anything useful out of them in a booth,” Haymitch’s voice is low, but serious. No one misses his meaning. He wants us to fight.

“No,” I say emphatically, jumping up from my seat. “There is absolutely no way I will go into the field with Peeta. I lost him once, I’m not going to do it again.”

“Miss Everdeen,” says President Coin. I’m momentarily distracted by how her eyes remind me of another president I know. “It has to be both of you. We can make sure you’re safe. We can send you to areas that are secure. You will be safe.”

“Katniss, I’m fine with this,” Peeta says. I look into his eyes, falling to my knees as the fight drains out of me. Peeta slowly sinks to his knees as well, meeting me eye level, and holding my gaze steady with his hands holding my cheeks. “We’ll be together, every step of the way. Nothing will separate us again.”

Tears leak out of my eyes, rolling slowly down my cheeks.

“I _will not_ lose you, Katniss, and you will never lose me.”

“Stay with me,” I beg him.

“Always.”


	15. Peeta

**Chapter 15: Peeta**

Plutarch and President Coin decided the best course of action would be to send us to District 12 first. It was our home, it was where so many people we knew and even loved lost their lives due to the violent whims of an insane dictator. Katniss and I know it’s something we have to do. Not for the cameras, and not for the propos. But for us.

I know we are being sent there because they want to get our reactions captured. But I need to see what’s left of my family’s bakery. Knowing my family is gone is not the same as seeing it.

When we exit the hovercraft, Katniss and I are hand in hand. I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but District 12, once desperately poor and starving but _alive_ has been reduced to ashes. No building near the square has been left standing.

Katniss steps on something that crunches, and when she looks down, and realizes it’s a skull she begins hyperventilating. Her shallow breaths turn into desperate heaves as I attempt to comfort her. I wrap my arms around her and pull her so her face is hidden in my shoulder. There is nothing I can really do. We can’t walk in any direction without stepping on someone’s bones, and I can’t prevent her from experiencing the horror of what took place here.

“Katniss! Katniss! Look at me!” I’m nearly yelling at her to get her attention. My hands go to her face, and I look in her eyes.

Her panicked eyes look into mine. “Breathe, sweetheart,” I say calmly. “Breathe.”

We move through the square, not looking down, until we reach the place where my family’s bakery once stood. Seven days ago my world came back into balance when Katniss was rescued from the tribute center. I was rescued from the arena 21 one days ago. Snow sent the hovercrafts to bomb the district as soon as they realized I was gone from the arena. And so my family has been gone for 21 days. My entire family died 21 days ago, and I’m completely numb. I’m not sure a lifetime will be enough time to get over this.

Katniss’ right hand clutches my left tightly. Her left hand holds my bicep, and she presses her body into my side. Any normal 18-year-old boy would be happy to have a beautiful girl pressed as close as possible. But this intimacy is shared between us for a reason that many “normal” 18-year-old boys have never faced. I take great comfort in her presence. Until I notice Cressida directing Pollux to capture this intimate moment between us. I kiss Katniss’ forehead and we move on toward the Victor’s Village. I won’t be speaking to cameras. Not here. Not in the place my father once sold cookies. Where my brothers and I used to play. Not even the place where my mother smacked me for burning the bread. This place belongs to me, not the cameras.

I’m not surprised to see several houses in the Victor’s Village still standing. Snow would have ordered this as a reminder to us that this is our fault. He destroyed everything in the town but the houses we were gifted after surviving the 74th Hunger Games to punish us further.

“None of this is our fault,” I hear Katniss whisper to me.

“Katniss, what are you seeing?” Cressida says, pointing at Castor’s camera.

Katniss takes a deep breath. “I’m seeing the reaction of a violent man. This was District 12. Peeta’s home. My home. This is what is left of thousands of people. Peeta and I have been in danger since we nearly killed ourselves with nightlock in the arena. That act was seen by many people throughout Panam as an act of defiance. I was told by President Snow that if I was unable to pacify the districts by proving Peeta and I are so madly in love we couldn’t bear the thought of being apart, then he would burn my district to the ground.”

Katniss’ voice is strong and full of conviction when she continues. “President Snow sent me into the Quarter Quell when I was unable to pacify the districts. To show everyone that defiance will not be tolerated. After I blew the force field in the arena, I was held captive in the tribute center. President Snow grinned at me while he forced me to watch fire bombs destroy our district. I listened to all these people scream when they couldn’t escape their deaths. Do you see this? This is what the Capital does. They destroy everything and everyone that does not bow to their pressure. If you think President Snow and the Capital will ever treat us fairly, you are deluding yourself.”

“Peeta, do you have anything to add?” Cressida says.

Katniss looks at me, and I kiss her forehead, holding her hand to my heart.

“I want to address the people of Panam. Not only those rebelling in the districts, but the people all over Panam who are loyal to the Capital. Is this the world you want to live in? One where the innocent actions of one person set off a lunatic with the power to destroy a district? Do you want to live in a world where children are forced to fight to the death for _entertainment_? Katniss and I do not want to live in that world. And we will not. President Snow is _not_ my leader!”


	16. Katniss

**Chapter 16: Katniss**

My brain feels fuzzy after our trip to District 12. I don’t think I could do any of this without Peeta by my side.

Boggs lets us know that we are wanted in the control room. We follow, matching Boggs’ brisk pace. I can’t help but wonder if I’m heading to the control room only to be yelled at for a lack of usable material for propos. I’m not the most graceful person even without cameras around.

I’m surprised to walk into a room that has Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Gale, Prim, my mother, President Coin, Plutarch, Haymitch, and Effie. It surprises me to see Haymitch and Effie sitting as closely together as Finnick and Annie. It shocks me further when I see Haymitch clutching Effie’s hand.

They whole group looks at us, and I blush under the scrutiny. Then something truly strange happens. They all begin to clap.

What is this?

Peeta and I are directed to sit down, and we do so. I don’t think I’ve let go of his hand since I woke up after my rescue, and I’m definitely not letting go now. The monitors blink on, and I see myself desperately trying to breathe while the Peeta on the screen holds my face in his hands and looks into my eyes. “Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.” He says.

The propo shifts to footage of me clutching Peeta’s arm as he’s processing the ruins of his family’s bakery. They couldn’t have even given us privacy in that moment? I feel a second of astonishment before my feelings make way for a fiery anger burning in my belly on Peeta’s behalf.

The propo shifts again to the countless remains of the inhabitants of District 12, while you can hear my voice speaking, explaining that this is the work of President Snow. The propo ends with Peeta saying “President Snow is _not_ my leader!”

Everyone turns to us, and President Coin says, “Plutarch’s faith in you both was not misplaced.”

I feel sick to my stomach. To use the footage of people I used to know seems very wrong. To use footage of me comforting Peeta in front of the ruins of his family’s bakery is _wrong_ , isn’t it? How can they focus on and exploit our pain? Is this what I get for wanting their deaths to mean something? Because I do want their deaths to mean something. I want the world we live in to change for the better. I _don’t_ want to exchange one brutal world for another.  

Peeta puts his arm around my shoulder, and I look up to his face. His jaw is clenched tight, and I wonder if he’s thinking the same things I am.


	17. Peeta

**Chapter 17: Peeta**

Katniss and I argue viciously with Haymitch after we are shown the propo. After watching, we made our way back to our room as quickly as possible. Haymitch followed us because he knows us better than most, and knew we were upset.

I look into Haymitch’s eyes while Katniss is clutching my hand so tightly, I’m nervous both our hands are in danger of broken bones. “You think it’s right to send us into District 12 and use our pain for your reasons? My family is dead Haymitch! Does that mean nothing to you? Does sending us there to step on skeletons in front of cameras mean nothing to you?”

I’m furious. The more I think about it, the more I talk about it, the angrier I get. The louder I get. I’m shouting by the time I finish my statement. How dare they?

“Listen, kid. You were chosen for a reason. But do you really think you’re not replaceable? Everyone is replaceable!” Haymitch yells back. His posture becomes aggressive, and Katniss steps between us, never letting go of my hand.

Katniss’ hand squeezes mine. “I get it,” she says softly. “I understand why you would all choose to do this. However, all the death and destruction can be used in a different way. District 13, Plutarch, _you_ took a moment that was private and intimate between Peeta and I, and made it yours, like it was never ours to begin with.”

“What do you both really think you’re here for? To smile and wave at the cameras? No! You’re here because you can reach people. You can relate to people. And you can help people make that final leap to rebellion,” Haymitch says, wildly gesturing with his hands.

“We understand our role, Haymitch,” Katniss says. “We’ll do what we need to do. We want the world to change as badly as anyone here. Of course we’ll do what needs to be done. However, taking a moment between Peeta and I, a moment that we were trying to understand and process together, and turning it into a propo was unacceptable. We agreed to be your symbol. We did not agree to have every single moment, including moments when we are processing the death of our loved ones, captured on camera and televised.”

There have been moments when I stand next to her, thankful beyond anything that I get to witness the incredible person she is. The person she has always been. I’m so proud to stand beside her every moment. But I’ve never been as proud as I am now. When did Katniss become the calm, rational one? She’s able to convey exactly what I was thinking without yelling. Haymitch immediately became defensive with me. Once she began talking, the fight in Haymitch’s posture drained, and he sits heavily into a chair.

“I understand,” he says. “You both know that two weeks after I won my Games, my little brother, my mother, and my girl were all dead. Had my reaction to that been captured and used for propaganda, I would be just as upset about that as you are about this. I know that was private. I argued for it to stay private. But I’m an outsider here, just like you two. There is only so much I can do,” he says regretfully.

Suddenly, the fight drains out of me as well. “So. What do we do now?”


	18. Katniss

**Chapter 18: Katniss**

I can’t speak freely here. I’m not even sure I can _think_ freely. I know I can’t breathe here. As much as I want to keep Peeta somewhere he can’t get hurt, I’m looking forward to when they send us out in the field officially.

We’ve been training with Boggs, Gale, Finnick, Johanna and Darius. My reunion with Darius was emotional. After clutching his hand in our suite in the tribute center before the Quarter Quell, I thought I would soon be dead, I would never see him again, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would regret knowing me for the rest of his life. Darius will never talk again, but he’s learning to communicate learning sign language with Pollux. Peeta and I are learning as well. The first thing Darius signed to me was “So, can I trade you a kiss for a rabbit?” I burst into loud, uncontrollable tears and ran to him for a hug. I kissed both his cheeks, then his forehead, thankful he was able to joke with me about something that happened so long ago. Something that happened before Prim was reaped for the Games, before I volunteered, and before I saw his face in the tribute center before the Quarter Quell. He just smiled at me, and allowed me to have my hysterical crying fit. Once I calmed down, we were able to get to work.

Johanna’s sarcasm when it comes to me hasn’t faded, but every now and then I catch her eye and she smiles. I’m grateful to her. And though I know I rub her the wrong way, and she has definitely rubbed me the wrong way in the past, I’m grateful that she protected Peeta. As so many of the tributes did in the Quarter Quell. I’m grateful to every person who fought to keep him alive. And if I get to sleep in Peeta’s arms every night because she helped save him, I will put up with Johanna’s sarcastic comments without complaint. At least without _much_ complaint.

Peeta, Finnick, and I work and train seamlessly together. Everyone has noticed, and so Cressida, Pollux, Castor, and Messala follow us with their camera equipment even during routine training. The three of us survived together in the Quarter Quell, allied together from the start despite my reservations. And in those few days together, we forged a bond that will allow us not only to train, but to fight together when the time comes. Finnick is entirely different than the persona he portrayed under the control of the Capital. The number of people I trust I can count on one hand, but Finnick is one of them. When we’re training, we train as the three of us. Other people come and go into our group, but the three of us are core. Finnick teaches us to fight with a trident. I teach Finnick, and try to teach Peeta to use a bow. Finnick picks it up quickly, while Peeta takes a little longer. Peeta will never be quite as quick as me, not with his stocky, muscular frame, but his aim improves every day. Peeta has become incredibly good at using a crossbow. We’ve viewed some of the footage of our training in different propos, and even I can admit we look like a formidable and effortless team.

Training like this reminds me of the time we spent training with the other Victors before the Quell. Other than Peeta and Johanna, Annie and Beetee also escaped the Capital with Haymitch. Some of the Victors, however, are still in the Capital. They still support the Capital, at least publically. There has been a lot of backlash against the Victors. People on the rebel side are suspicious of Victors who could be in support of the Capital. The Capital is suspicious of Victors that could be supporting the rebels. Other than Finnick, Johanna, Beetee, Annie, Peeta, and me, most Victors are assumed to be supporters of the Capital. 

Gale and Beetee have been collaborating in the design and construction of new weaponry. Beetee designed my new bow, and a new trident for Finnick. For Peeta, he’s designed something entirely unique. Peeta has amazing physical strength, and Beetee has designed a mace to capitalize on it. The mace is abnormally heavy. It would be very difficult for me, or even Finnick, to wield successfully, but for Peeta it’s perfect. The mace can strap to his back like the quiver for my arrows, which can free up his hands to carry a crossbow. The mace has a dagger built in the hilt, so Peeta will have his choice of weapon depending on the situation. I feel slightly better about him going to battle by my side, knowing he’s well-armed and competently trained. But I’m still terrified to my core that he will get hurt.

“So when the bomb goes off, and crews come in to help any survivors, that is when the second bomb will detonate,” hearing Gale say that causes my stomach to turn.

“I suppose there really are no rules about what one person can do to another person,” I say.

Gale looks at me, “We’re following the same rule book they followed in bombing 12. This is a war, Katniss. We’re not going to win by sending flowers. We’re going to win by getting to the core of the system.”

How have I never noticed how angry he is? I understand. I’m angry too. I look from Gale over to Peeta. Peeta catches my gaze and smiles at me. I love that smile. I know now that even if Peeta and I hadn’t been thrown together in the Games, Gale and I would never have been right for each other. He is filled with fire, and I have plenty of that myself. What I need is the boy that loves the colors of the sunset.

Peeta walks toward me. “I spoke with President Coin. She’s going to allow you, us if _you_ allow me, to go aboveground and hunt within a two-mile radius of base.”

I can feel a smile break out on my face as I rush into Peeta’s arms. I kiss him soundly on the mouth. “I love you,” I whisper, and his answering smile is worth any discomfort I might feel later when I realize I just kissed him, deeply, in front of a room full of soldiers and a camera crew. I kiss him again for the hell of it. Even deeper than the first time. My arms wrap around his neck and I feel his hands on my waist. I feel the same sort of hunger I felt on the beach in the Quell. I kiss him until we have to pull away to breathe, and then we laugh softly together when we hear Finnick whistle at us.

I feel so very thankful that Peeta knows me. He _knows_ me, and knows what I need. And he knows I will never be able to breathe in here.


	19. Peeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please note there are some suggestive themes in this chapter.

**Chapter 19: Peeta**

I love to watch Katniss train. It’s truly phenomenal. I’ve seen what she can do in life and death situations before, but it is one thing watching her in action while we are running for our lives, and watching her in action while I can stand here, relaxed and focused on her. She’s incredibly quick. The speed that she can pull an arrow from the quiver, notch it in her bow, and accurately release it toward a moving target is incredible. Now, we’re outside, utilizing the very time we have been allowed to venture outside. Enjoying a beautiful day and the fresh air. I packed a blanket and some food, but we’ve been wandering and haven’t found a spot we’re willing to stop.

I remember a moment, in the tribute center before our first games when I was talking about her skills. I told Haymitch then about how my father always commented on how Katniss always hit the squirrels in the eye, every time. I also remember how Katniss jumped to interject my strong points. She was quick to point out my physical strength and my wrestling. At the time I didn’t realize what that meant. She _did_ notice I was alive before I was reaped, more than I ever would have guessed.

Watching her out here, above District 13 in the wilderness, is more rewarding that I possibly could have imagined when I approached President Coin. Katniss’ facial expression is so open and free. Her affection for me is open and free. Her affectionate displays decreased in intensity the moment Katniss and I saw Plutarch’s newest propo. Katniss nearly screamed in frustration when she saw herself run into my arms and kiss me during training. After all the months after our first Games, when we pretended the moments of our affection were real, it’s really interesting to see us on camera caught in a moment that _is_ real. She’s so beautiful laughing and happy and kissing me. After we saw the propo, though, Katniss kept her affection to hand-holding and occasional pecks on the cheek. They can’t use on camera what they can’t see. Instead, we utilize the night, alone in our room, to fall asleep wrapped in each other.

During the hour we’ve been roaming the countryside, she has let go of my hand to shoot an arrow only once. She’s leaned over to kiss me twice. After the second time I leaned over to whisper in her ear “remember, we’re madly in love. So feel free to kiss me any time you feel like it.” She laughs lightly and responds, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We are leaving for District 2 in the morning. This is the last foreseeable time we’ll have a moment alone. As of tomorrow we will be right in the middle of an active warzone, where rebels will attempt to take control of the hub of the Capital’s military defense. District 2 has some home-grown rebels. But they also have loyalty to the Capital that runs deep. District 2 has never suffered like District 12. It’s difficult to see the wrong in something when you are never treated wrongly.

I know Katniss is very uneasy with plans that Gale and Beetee have established. Yes, she wants the world to change. But she doesn’t want us to lose our humanity to do it. I agree with her. I can’t imagine—

“Peeta,” she says to get my attention. I realize then I’ve let my mind wander. She’s spread the blanket out under the cover of several trees, is sitting on it, and I’m surprised that she’s set her bow and arrows to the side. I go to sit next to her. My left hand going to the cheek that was so bruised and swollen when she was first rescued, now healed. She leans into my touch and kisses the inside of my wrist, astonishing me. We’ve kissed many, many times, in many ways, both on and off camera, but I’m not sure she’s ever done something so intimate before. I lean in to press my lips to hers, kissing her gently. Her hands go around the back of my neck, her fingertips lightly grazing my skin.

Katniss’ hands run through my hair as she kisses me deeper. She pulls away to look into my eyes. “Katniss?” I ask, before she answers me by climbing into my lap, her knees on either side of my hips. Her hands are on my shoulders, pulling on my shirt. “Katniss?” I ask again, almost breathlessly.

“I love you, Peeta. So much. And I don’t want to leave tomorrow without taking this moment right now, alone with you, to show you that,” Katniss says softly, but firmly. Her eyes are intent and focused. And though I know what she means, it takes me several moments to realize that we are about to express our love in a way we never have before. I’m nervous and excited as I kiss her, and allow her to pull my shirt off.

And after, when her head is pillowed on my shoulder, her hand is stroking my chest, and she says “You love me, real or not real?”

I say “real,” without any hesitation, and pull her closer.

 


	20. Katniss

**Chapter 20: Katniss**

Everything feels different now. _I_ feel different now. I never quite understood how things could possibly get better between two people until it happened to me. To us. It feels like Peeta and I are closer than two people have ever been. I know the thought is outrageous. We’re not the only two people who have ever been in love.

Peeta and I have shared something incredibly special. Our own private secret that no one else will ever be a part of.

Before we left the meadow nearly two miles from base camp, we redressed ourselves. We built a very small fire, took the bread Peeta managed to bring with us, toasted it, and shared it. I took his hand in mine, kissed the back of it, and sang the song traditional for a toasting in District 12. Though it’s not official, no piece of paper could make us feel more married than we feel right now.

“I honestly never would have thought when I was picking out food for our picnic, that the bread would be used for _this_ ,” Peeta says in a bewildered voice. I’m overcome with the depth of my feelings for him and I wrap my arms around him from behind, kissing his shoulder.

“Isn’t it lucky you chose to bring bread?” I said cheekily.

Peeta snorts and turns his head to look back at me. “I’m not sure I’ve ever made a better decision,” he said, and he’s clearly not talking about the bread. He’s talking about me. About us.

“So what do I call you now? I can’t keep calling you sweetheart, because that’s what Haymitch calls you when he thinks you’re being an idiot,” Peeta says and I laugh.

“You’re right,” I snort, thinking of what Haymitch would say to me now. Probably something along the lines of ‘Well, sweetheart, you certainly know how to make a statement.’ Or, ‘This is why no one ever lets you make the plans, sweetheart.’

I laugh a little harder and Peeta turns around to look at me with a quizzical expression. “I’m just thinking about what Haymitch would say to me right now.”

Peeta smiles, and we wrap our arms around each other. “So, what do you think? Everyone calls you Katniss so nothing special about me calling you that. Can’t call you Catnip because that’s reserved for Gale,” that simple sentence would have thrown me into a panic several months ago. Now, knowing I’ve chosen to be Peeta’s and Peeta has chosen to be mine, the mention of Gale brings me no panic. Maybe my nerves can hear that Peeta no longer sounds like he is going to explode from jealousy when he mentions Gale. Whatever it is, I feel thankfully calm.

“I think you should call me whatever comes naturally to you in the moment,” I said softly.

“And if I start calling you ‘wife’?”

“Then we should probably tell my mom before you go blurting that all over the place, and Prim would be devastated if she heard it from someone else,” I point out.  

“I don’t think there is any danger of that, Wife. I’ve been calling you ‘wife’ in my head ever since you woke up from being rescued and you threw yourself into my arms and kissed me. You’re my wife now. And whatever happens tomorrow, whatever happens until this war is over, whatever happens after the war is over, I’m so proud to be your husband. Let’s pack up and go tell everyone we know!” His excitement calms any lingering anxiety I have about telling my mother.

Suddenly, I remember the day I volunteered for my sister so vividly. I was talking to Gale beforehand, and I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that I never wanted children. I never wanted to be married. I was a different girl then. Changed by a couple Hunger Games, an unforgiving Capital, and a loving Peeta. So, now, while I’m so in love and warm and married, wrapped in the arms of the man I’ve chosen to be my husband, I don’t mind when Peeta calls me “wife.”

 


	21. Peeta

**Chapter 21: Peeta**

Katniss saved my life in the first Hunger Games arena, and she did it by selling our love story to the Capital. After finding out her feelings for me in the arena weren’t real, I was devastated. I’ve said it before, but I’ve loved her since I was five. That feeling of devastation I felt after we won the Games and we were on the train back to District 12, is a pain I thought I would never get over. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I never once during that train ride and the months after believed that she would ever love me. But here we are. Married, in our hearts at least, and open about it. Katniss has held my hand since she was rescued as if our hands linked is the most natural thing in the world.

Katniss’ mother took the news surprisingly well. She suspected after we reunited that it would only be a matter of time. Prim and Effie squealed with excitement while Katniss and I laughed. Haymitch rolled his eyes, and Johanna picked a stray leaf out of Katniss’ hair. Oops. Finnick and Annie congratulated us enthusiastically, and let us all know of their own plans for a wedding. Even Gale shook my hand and offered us both sincere congratulations.

We spend the last evening we’ll have here in District 13 for the foreseeable future together as a group. At dawn, Finnick, Katniss, Gale, Cressida, Messala, Pollux, Castor, Darius, Johanna, and I will all board a hovercraft on the way to District 2, while Annie and Beetee will both remain behind. We, along with some others, will be forming an elite squad. Elite, in that the footage captured by Pollux and Castor will be used in propos that are intended to counteract the propaganda released by the Capital. President Coin is not anticipating that we will be in any actual battle. I know that Katniss would rather I stay out of danger, but I would rather she be entirely safe as well. Everyone knows we do better together, however, and neither of us will truly be safe while President Snow is in power, so we agree this is the best plan.

Our group sits together at dinner, laughing, having fun. We’re not thinking about the warzone we’re about to be dropped into. We’re thinking about right now. A day that Katniss and I committed our lives to each other. An evening where we can enjoy our time with the people we’re closest to.

I look at my beautiful wife, smiling. Smiling a real smile was a very rare occurrence for Katniss prior to her rescue from the Capital. For several years after her father died, she felt like she didn’t have a reason to smile. She and her family were starving, and her mother was nearly comatose with depression. I can’t even begin to share what it feels like to know that smile is for me. This moment, right here, when my beautiful girl is smiling and laughing with our friends and family, can I really regret my name being called for that first reaping? I might never have had the courage to talk to her without that. If anything that has happened to me or to Katniss in our lives been even slightly different, we wouldn’t be here right now. I cannot regret my life when it’s brought me to this moment. I’m not even paying attention to anyone else. Only her.

And later, when we are cuddled in bed in our most frequent sleeping position, Katniss’ head resting on my shoulder, and out linked hands resting over my heart, I whisper, “I’d like to freeze this moment, right now, and live in it forever.”

Katniss looks to me, smiling the most genuinely beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, kisses me lightly on the lips, and says, “I’ll allow it.”


	22. Katniss

**Chapter 22: Katniss**

There is absolutely no one I trust more than Peeta. No one. Not Gale, Haymitch, definitely not my mother. There is no one I’d rather have by my side, in any situation, but especially situations that are life and death. Peeta and I protect each other.

We sit together on the hovercraft. I’m not sure what anyone is thinking Peeta’s and my real role will be throughout this revolution, but whatever it is, it will be done together. I’m determined to let nothing separate us again. I won’t let him out of my sight. Even boarding the hovercraft, when there were no two seats left together, everyone could see I was beginning to panic before Finnick avoided my inevitable melt-down by moving one seat over. I’m grateful he understands me enough to be willing to make the gesture. After losing Peeta in the Quell arena, I’m not willing to risk splitting up. I made that mistake before. I won’t be making it again. I know that some of my actions because of that may seem crazy. What person can’t sit two seats away from their husband? Me. I can’t. And I don’t care if that’s normal.

Cressida uses the time we’re stationary to explain the plan. We’ll be meeting in District 2 with rebels from every district to determine the best way to infiltrate the Capital’s premiere military defense system, the Nut. Castor and Pollux will be filming all that they can, and the footage will be relayed to Plutarch where he will piece together propos.

We step off the hovercraft, and we’re greeted by several soldiers who begin to walk us to Commander Paylor, a very important leader of the rebellion in District 8. As we walk, soldiers all around begin to recognize us. They stop to stare, as do Peeta and I. I’m astonished when each and every person around me, kisses three fingers of their left hand, and raises them. Peeta squeezes my hand.

I never would have thought that volunteering for my sister, covering Rue in wildflowers, and handing Peeta half the nightlock berries would have resulted in so many people from all the districts coming together to change Panam.   

I’m not sure what I expected to happen when we arrived at District 2. But I know that I didn’t expect my relationship with Gale to be irrevocably damaged by the events of the trip.

I know that my relationship with Peeta, during the moments we were trying to survive, and now that it’s entirely real, cracked the foundation of Gale’s and my friendship. I know Gale thought he felt something more than friendship for me. I know that Gale’s anger has caused me to question his judgement more often than not since we’ve been in District 13. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when he suggests we bomb the Nut and kill all military personnel and civilians inside, any lingering feelings of friendliness I had toward him are gone.


	23. Peeta

**Chapter 23: Peeta**

“No. Absolutely not. Are you crazy?” Katniss says angrily to Gale. “There are civilians in there. People that are forced to do a job, just like you were forced into mining, Gale.”

“These are people still working for the Capital. They have a choice now, Catnip,” Gale responds.

“Don’t you _dare_ call me that. Not here, not now. Not when you have completely disregarded the fact that there are _people_ in there, Gale. Living and breathing people!”

We’ve just met with rebels in District 2, where a plan has been decided to blow up the hillside surrounding the Nut, causing landslides that will seal the exits, instead of trying to gain control of it. After half the group viciously disagreed with the plan, we came to a consensus that would allow for one exit to remain. Therefore, survivors could escape and have the opportunity to surrender.

Commander Paylor refused to sacrifice more soldiers when previous attempts to gain control have failed. I understand that, and Katniss does as well. But neither of us can wrap our heads around the sacrifice of people who have not chosen the life they lead. What kind of position have we taken if we are willing to sacrifice everyone? What kind of government can we expect from people who make decisions like these? These people staying out of the revolution may be doing so to protect themselves. What if the Capital wins? The people like us taking part in the rebellion will be slaughtered. I’m sure, if the Capital wins, Katniss and my deaths will be publicized and brutal.

We didn’t choose to go to The Hunger Games. We didn’t choose to live in District 12. Katniss didn’t choose to live in the Seam, and to have to hunt to feed her family. We didn’t choose the life we have led. We don’t even really have a choice now. So we cannot think about the people in that facility as enemies because they haven’t chosen their life any more than we have chosen ours.

Gale is unreachable at this point. Nothing Katniss is saying is getting through to him. Maybe if I had been in District 12 and watched it burn, I would understand his anger more. But then again, maybe not. I don’t think I will ever be at a point that I think more killing and death is the answer.

But Katniss did watch it. She was forced to watch the district burn, and hear the people’s screams. She has directed her anger at President Snow and the system that has fostered the districts fighting against each other. She doesn’t want people who had nothing to do with the decisions to suffer.

When Beetee, still in District 13 but communicating with us through video technology, mentions we could bomb the surrounding area, causing landslides that would block the exits, but leaving one for survivors that we could intercept, Katniss and I see this as a more humane way to deal with the situation.

I watch as tears roll down her cheeks when we hear the hovercrafts bombing the hillside. She presses her face into my shoulder, and I can feel her shaking. This is not how we wanted to be part of a revolution. Who are we really working for? And how, honestly, is sealing all these people in a tomb to die, any better than sending children to The Hunger Games?

I’m not entirely sure what Katniss is thinking right now, but I’m certain that we can agree that we will not be supporting a new government that is just as brutal as President Snow’s. Especially, when we find out President Coin has given the order to seal all exits. _All exits_. Even though the agreement was to leave _one_ exit alone, _one_ way for people to escape. President Coin has officially given the order to not only _allow_ but _create_ a situation where thousands of people suffocate in a giant, underground tomb.

Katniss starts hyperventilating and heaving, and I can’t help her because I’m doing the same. How can we be a part of this? Gale comes over to us and addresses Katniss, “What do you expect, Catnip? This is a war. Not a party,” and the look that comes over Katniss’ face is one I hope never to have directed at me.

“Never call me that again, Gale. You don’t talk to me ever again,” Katniss says nothing further, just sinks to her knees, clutches for my hand, and turns her face away from Gale.


	24. Katniss

**Chapter 24: Katniss**

I haven’t spoken to Gale since the bombing in District 2, and he hasn’t attempted to speak to me either. We’re not on friendly terms. I don’t think we ever will be again. I’ve thought it before, but I don’t need his fire as I have plenty of fire myself. I never needed it as a boyfriend, or special someone in my life, and I don’t even need his fire as a friend. I hope if Peeta had any lingering doubt over Gale and I, it has vanished in the wake of what Gale has been party to. I will never trust him again. Not with myself, not with my family, and _definitely_ not with my Peeta.

Peeta’s and my reaction to the bombing of the Nut was utilized for a propo. I wish I’d never agreed to be their mockingjay. I wish Peeta and I never agreed, and we were far away from here. I wish that I had taken my mom, Prim, and Peeta and tried to make it living in the woods. I have no idea what Plutarch was thinking. During the bombing, Peeta and I were clutching each other and heaving and hyperventilating while the rebels sealed every human being in the Nut. We were told that the propo would go a long way to convince the people of Panam that the military action taken in District 2 was necessary, but horrific. And it made District 13 seem more humane, more compassionate, that Peeta and I were obviously so upset by the loss of human life. It showed loyalists to the Capital that the rebels don’t want to kill them, that we want all the people of Panam working together. It also shows, however, any remaining loyalty to the Capital that gets in the rebels’ way will not be tolerated.

I’m often embarrassed when I’m shown what they use our image to represent. But right now, I’m horrified. I want nothing to do with representing the decision to bomb the hillside in District 2 to create landslides that seal the people in. I didn’t agree with the decision. Peeta didn’t agree with the decision. So often, we don’t agree with President Coin or District 13 at all. But we can’t say it out loud. Not now.

I’m worth more to her dead than I am alive. The same goes for Peeta. We learned this very quickly when we learn of her plans to send us to the Capital, supposedly miles behind the front lines, but without the device every other squad was given. Every squad was given a device called a holo, that would allow the rebels to navigate the Capital more safely, and identify death traps installed by gamemakers throughout the city, called pods. These pods are brutal, deadly, and designed to make rebel deaths as painful, humiliating, and _entertaining_ as possible.

My squad, consisting of our commanding officer Boggs, his second-in-command Jackson, Gale, Peeta, Finnick, Johanna, Darius, Cressida, Pollux, Castor, and Messala travel to the Capital on what I know is a suicide mission. She’s done this intentionally, not caring if we live or die.

I asked Boggs why President Coin would send us without help. “The war is going to end soon. And when it does, someone will need to be in charge. You’re the Mockingjay. People follow you, and follow Peeta. If you don’t support President Coin, you’re dangerous to her plans. You both are.”

I’ve had a lot of trouble sitting back and swallowing things that have happened, like a good soldier should. The feeling of not being able to speak freely, the expectation that Peeta and I perform in a certain way, using people we used to know who died in an incredibly brutal way in propos, giving Peeta and I zero privacy, deciding to seal everyone in the Nut in District 2. President Coin is no better than President Snow.

And now I know she’s trying to kill us.


	25. Peeta

Chapter 25: Peeta

We know we’ve all been sent to die. Katniss realized right away, as did Boggs. Our lives mean nothing to President Coin. Our deaths, however, mean both martyrdom and victory for a power-hungry leader. Faces to show the people of Panam, an example of why they need to continue the raging flames of rebellion. Finnick told us early in our training together about President Snow utilizing desirable victors by selling them to the highest bidder. He told us all about the secrets he learned from Capital people.

President Snow employed poison to stop a problem before it even started. This mission is Alma Coin’s poison. And with Katniss and I dead, there will be no one willing to actively oppose President Coin. Each and every one of us agreed once we realized the real plan was for us to die, that our mission would not be to film propos for District 13, but we would actively try to reach the heart of the Capital. Our new mission, will be to reach President Snow. We will be trying for surrender. But if that doesn’t work, I’m sure someone plans to kill him. It might even be me. The really difficult realization is knowing that once President Snow is no longer a threat, we will still have a very powerful enemy to contend with.

We learned very quickly what the pods can do. Katniss shot an arrow in between two buildings not far into the city and giant flame throwers scorched the entire street. Had we been there, we would have suffered a horrible death. It wasn’t long after that, Jackson stepped on a brick that set off a landmine. There was nothing left of her. We were all so terrified we would step on something that would set off a pod, we quickly retraced our steps and reevaluated what we would do.

Pollux came up with an idea to travel below the city, where only Avox workers go. Castor told us that when Pollux was turned into an Avox, they sent him down below the city where he spent 5 years. “He never saw the sun once,” Castor says. Katniss couldn’t stand being underground in District 13, even for the time we were there. I can’t imagine how damaging it would be to be underground for 5 years.

Pollux is obviously distressed about being down here. I wish it wasn’t so difficult for him, but I’m very thankful we are able to travel without facing the pods that are active what seems like every 10 steps aboveground. It isn’t safe for us to be aboveground, especially without a holo. Katniss once told me that she wasn’t good at saying something, but no one other than Castor knows how to talk to Pollux to calm him down like Katniss. She grabbed his hand, signed something to him that was too fast for me to understand, they both took a deep breath, and Pollux was able to continue.

Traveling underground is surprisingly easy, we’ve encountered no issues. We’ve been able to take time to rest and we’ve been able to move toward the mansion shockingly fast. Pollux knows the location of every camera. We avoid those. The gamemakers didn’t expect anyone to go underground, so there have been no pods to decimate us, no mutts that have traveled throughout the system to attack us. I will never say that what we have done is “easy,” but so far, we’ve gotten closer and closer to the mansion quicker than any of us expected.

It’s the most selfish thought I’ve ever had. But if something happens and none of us make it out of this but Katniss, I’ll be happy. I want Katniss safe, I want her happy, and I want her to live a long, full life because she deserves it. And this time, if I die, I really won’t have any regrets. Katniss loves me, and I was able to make her my wife. No. If I die, I have no regrets. I just want Katniss safe.


	26. Katniss

**Chapter 26: Katniss**

“Miss Everdeen. I certainly didn’t expect to ever see you again. And never under these circumstances.” President Snow grinned at me.

Pollux helped us navigate our way below ground so we reached the President’s mansion within days of arriving at the edge of the Capital. Losing Jackson was horrible. She was another death I will never forget. But in losing Jackson, Pollux decided to take us under the city. Yesterday, we arrived below the mansion and spent the evening planning for this very moment. The moment I could look President Snow in the eye, and let him know the Peeta and I had beaten him.  

“I think I’ve imagined how this very conversation would go a hundred times. You should have left Peeta and I alone. You should have let us live our lives and we would never have caused you an issue again. We will not be pieces in your games, not anymore,” I say to him forcefully.

“Of course not. You’ve decided to be a piece in someone else’s games now,” he responds with a snarl.

It’s just he and I in this room. The rest of my squad is working on incapacitating President Snow’s private guard, as well as working to take captive everyone else in the building. Beetee has plans to broadcast President Snow’s official surrender throughout all of Panam.

“We’ve agreed to tell each other the truth, President Snow, and so I will tell you without a doubt that I will not play in anyone’s games. Not yours, not President Coin’s.”

President Snow begins to laugh, blood flying from his mouth as he laughs harder and harder. I jump back in horror, watching as he laughs hysterically, while blood begins to pour from his mouth. Antidotes don’t always work, as Finnick once said to me.

“You’ve figured it out then, have you,” He said, as his laughing fit ends. “You’ve figured out if it isn’t me, it will be someone else. I’ve been focusing on you, never once thinking about the real problem, the real enemy. But you, _you_ have been focusing your attention on all threats. Bravo, Miss Everdeen. It seems only I have been played for a fool.”

I continue to stare at him. What do you say to the man who tried to eliminate you by sending you to another Hunger Games? Who tried to destroy the man you love?

“I may be young, but I’ve never been stupid. I could see exactly who and what she was the moment they asked Peeta and I to film propos.”

“But you did it,” Snow says factually.

“I did. It was a decision I made because it was the easiest way to get exactly where I want to be.”

“And where is dear Peeta? I know very well, by now, that when you told me you weren’t indifferent to him you were telling the truth.”

“I was telling the truth. He’s here with me.”

As if right on cue, Peeta opened the door and came into the room.

“Ah there he is. The boy with the bread,” President Snow said.

“President Snow. You will be officially surrendering to Katniss and I. Now. On camera. Beetee has everything set up. It will air throughout Panam and District 13,” Peeta said.

 We led Snow to his office, where Castor and Pollux were ready with their camera equipment.

“You’ll sit here,” Cressida directed Snow. Once Snow was seated, Cressida continued, “Castor right here. Pollux, here. Whenever you are ready Mr. Snow.” The look of astonishment on President Snow’s face makes me smile slightly. It’s been a very long time since anyone has addressed him as anything other than ‘president.’

Snow then began to speak, looking directly into Castor’s camera, “For the sake of the citizens of Panam, especially those residing in the Capital, I call for a cease fire. I hereby officially surrender to Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, on behalf of the Capital. And I will be surrendering myself to their custody immediately.”

Pollux panned his camera toward the wall, where Snow’s entire family, his private guards, and the members of his government were all handcuffed and standing against the wall. I can see that Peeta and the others were very busy while I talked to Snow privately.

I reach for Peeta’s hand. Our fingers link together so naturally. I look at our linked hands as he brings my hand to his lips for a kiss. I know what he’s thinking just as he knows what I’m thinking. One down.


	27. Peeta

**Chapter 27: Peeta**

It was not difficult to round up the people in Snow’s mansion. Once they saw we were armed, ready, and had successfully infiltrated the mansion, no one was interested in trying to fight against us. No one was harmed on either side. After Snow and Katniss had a private discussion, he surrendered to us easily. He is currently being held under heavy guard in his greenhouse.

After she realized we were successful, President Coin decided she would come to the Capital, rather than have us travel back to District 13. Katniss and I know exactly why she made that determination. She has plans to move into Snow’s mansion.

I can tell you that Katniss and I will never let that happen.

We need a leader that is compassionate, kind, generous, and willing to work hard to set right the wrongs that have taken place throughout years and years of suppression.

We need a leader who will officially end the Games.

We need a leader who will treat every District fairly.

We need a leader who will abolish unsafe conditions in factories, mines, and power plants.

We need a leader who will not force people in the districts into poverty.

We need a leader who will support the Districts sharing and trading their goods with other districts, not only the Capital.

We need a government willing to take a stand against injustice.

We need a government that will help the districts thrive, not oppress them.

Katniss and I knew, the second they asked us to film our love story for the world, they were looking to build a government exactly like Snow’s. They aren’t looking for equality throughout every district and the Capital. We knew there was no way to ever throw our support behind Coin when she deliberately sealed people in the Nut to die. She is not honorable. She will not treat people in the Capital fairly, she will not treat Katniss and I fairly. She may very well try to kill us now, now that we have infiltrated the Capital successfully. She might not use poison, as Snow used to rid himself of his enemies, but the plans for our deaths were set in motion long before we were even sent to the Capital. Plans for our deaths may have been set before either of us were rescued.

The fighting in Panam has completely stopped. The rebels and Capital citizens have put down their arms and have agreed to work amicably to establish a new government. The members of Snow’s former government have all been taken into custody and await trail. We anticipate that President Snow and many of his trusted advisors will be sentenced to death.

Katniss and I are side by side on the bed we’re allowed to use while we wait for President Coin to arrive in the Capital. We’re both on our sides and she’s looking into my eyes as intensely as I’m looking into hers.

“What are we going to do?” she asks, and I smile.

“Whatever we have to do,” I reply. “I promise you, I’ll do everything I can to prevent her from taking his place.”

“I love you, Peeta. When we were with the squad, I missed the moments I could stay in your arms. When I could turn to you in the night. When I could sleep on your shoulder. I missed having you all to myself,” Katniss whispers to me. Her hands go to my face, lightly grazing her fingertips down my face, my neck, to my shoulders.

I kiss her forehead. Then both cheeks. The tip of her nose. And then her lips.

 


	28. Katniss

Chapter 28: Katniss

Snow has been sentenced to death. As have his entire team of advisors. Peeta and I have been summoned by President Coin to a meeting room within Snow’s mansion. All the surviving victors are here. Beetee, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Haymitch, Enobaria, and some others I don’t recognize are sitting around the table. Peeta and I take our seats next to Haymitch. I have no idea what to expect, but the tension in the room is something I can feel in my bones. As always, Peeta’s and my hands remained linked. I don’t know what’s about to happen, but Peeta keeps me grounded.

“I’ve gathered you here today to discuss a very important topic,” President Coin says. “I think we can all agree that emotions are running too high to hold a free election for the next President, so I’ve decided to take on the duty for however long it may last.”

Even her voice makes my skin crawl at this point. Emotions are too high? Emotions are always high in the Districts. That won’t take away the people’s ability to choose their own leader. I hear Haymitch scoff.

“Obviously, people in the Districts will not be satisfied with a surrender. They will be asking for blood. Blood beyond Snow and his advisors. In order to offer them something that accompanies the least loss of life, I’ve come up with an idea. We hold a final symbolic hunger games. With Capital children.”

I look at Peeta, my stomach turning. It’s been turning for days.

I’m beyond terrified. It was only that one time before we began actively fighting in the war, but it was enough. Before, in the Quell arena, I could die and Peeta could live and it would be fine. Great even. Peeta is so much better than the rest of us. He’s got an amazing heart. He deserves to have an amazing life. And an amazing family. Kids.

I didn’t have any sort of qualms about dying for him in the Quell arena. Now, circumstances are very different. It’s not just me and Peeta anymore. I haven’t told him yet. And now, Coin wants to hold a Hunger Games.

“You can’t be serious. We can’t have another Hunger Games!” Peeta exclaims. His hand tightens on mine to the point of pain. The pain doesn’t matter.

“I say let them have a taste of their own medicine,” Enobaria says, flashing her sharpened teeth at us.

“Everyone must vote,” Coin says. “No one may abstain. And if a majority rules in favor, Panem will be told that the Games are being held with your approval.”

I feel beyond queasy.

“We have to stop treating each other as enemies,” Beetee says. “I vote no.”

“Absolutely not,” Annie exclaims. “The Games should be abolished.”

“I’m with Annie and Beetee,” Finnick says. “No child should be sent to the Games. No children from the districts, and no children from the Capital.”

“I say why not?” Johanna says. “Snow even has a granddaughter!”

I might throw up. More children in The Hunger Games. More children dying. More fear.

“Well, I’m just going to go with a huge no. I did not participate in all of this, only to hold another Games and watch more children die,” Haymitch says, taking a long drink from the cup in his hand.

“No.” Peeta says. He doesn’t say any more. Just looks to me, waiting for me to follow.

For Peeta. For his baby. I say, “No.”


	29. Peeta

Chapter 29: Peeta

The disappointment on President Coin’s face was severe. Two yes responses out of all of us. And one doesn’t really count because Johanna is bitter. Enobaria is psychotic, however, and I know she really wouldn’t be bothered by another Games. After the last “no” escaped, Coin ended the meeting abruptly, and left the room while the Victors remained.

Katniss’ hand turned cold and clammy in mine when President Coin was talking. Her face went incredibly pale like she was going to throw up. After all we’ve been through, Coin must have imagined we would be eager to have revenge. Nothing could be further from the truth for us. We don’t want revenge against Capital children that have done nothing. Capital children have had no say in what happens in Panem, just like children throughout the districts. It is not time for reckless revenge. It’s time for every adult throughout Panem to have a say in their lives and in their government.

I say no for so many reasons. I say no for Katniss. I say no for my family. I say no for Haymitch, who lived through 25 years of mentoring only to watch 46 of the kids he mentored die. I say no for the Capital children that have done nothing but be born in a specific part of the world. I say no for every single child that has already died in an arena. And I say no for the adults that survived.

I say no because someday I want a family. With Katniss. And I never want to have to worry that my children, _our children_ , will be sent to an arena.

I know that President Coin is worried Katniss and I won’t throw our support behind her presidency. She’s right to be worried. We will never support someone who reminds us so much of President Snow.

President Snow and his advisors are scheduled to be executed in the next week. At one time, I thought Katniss might have asked to be the one to kill him. But now, after everything we’ve been through, I’m not surprised she wants nothing to do with killing another person. Not after she killed Marvel and Gloss. Not after killing Cato to stop his suffering from the mutts. Even inadvertently killing Glimmer with the tracker-jackers. I know Katniss can reconcile those deaths in her mind because she was saving her life, and mine. She has never hesitated to protect me. But President Snow is already beaten. He is not a threat to us anymore. And Katniss will never be able to reconcile that.

Coin, however, is a very active threat. The look that came over her face when Katniss said “no” was brief but telling. She hates us. We know she’s just as bad as Snow, but we also suspect that she’s worse. I still can’t imagine anyone who could completely ignore an agreement made among district leaders and soldiers, specifically to prevent loss of life, without being seriously deranged. She’s power hungry. Psychotic. And entirely willing to sacrifice anyone who gets in her way.

It’s unfortunate Katniss and I both are about to get in her way.


	30. Katniss/Peeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally intended to be 2 chapters, but they go so well together, I decided to combine them today. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and thank you especially to the new comments/kudos this story has received!

**Chapter 30: Katniss**

I can tell Peeta everything. _Everything_. So I can’t understand why I’m having so much trouble with this.

The world we live in is an uncertain place. After Coin arrived in the Capital and the remaining Victors refused to go along with her plan to hold another Games, Snow was found dead in the greenhouse where he was kept prisoner. General consensus is that he choked on his own blood. This makes sense to me based on what I witnessed when he and I talked before his surrender. He laughed and blood flew everywhere. We knew based on Finnick’s information that President Snow was very ill for perhaps a very long time.

Soon I will be required by President Coin to attend a press conference, during which time Peeta and I are expected to talk, and throw our support behind President Coin taking over as leader of Panem. Peeta and I have discussed it privately, and I know neither of us will be supporting Coin. Peeta and I wholeheartedly believe in the people of Panem’s right to a free election. And our belief in the ability for each and every one of us to make our own decisions despite emotions running high. At the press conference, I have every intention of publicly supporting an open and free election.

We have no idea what is going to happen or where we will end up.

I want my sister to have the rest of her childhood without fear.

I want to go home. I want to build my life with Peeta. I want to raise my baby with my husband without fear.

I want to tell my Peeta that he’s going to be a daddy. And I want him to know without a shadow of a doubt that his baby will grow up in a world without The Hunger Games.

I never wanted to have children before Peeta. Definitely not in a world with the Games. But with the right leader, this baby will never know the fear of a reaping.

Peeta and I have been staying in President Snow’s mansion while the fate of the world is decided around us. We’ve ventured out of our room only rarely, and one of those occurrences we were shocked to spot Haymitch and Effie in a passionate embrace. I feel like the image of Effie’s hands on Haymitch’s behind are permanently seared into my brain. Peeta teased me for being “pure” when I blushed and demanded we go back to our room. I haven’t found a reason to leave the room since that occurred.

So instead we spend our time together. I spend the time mostly watching Peeta. Peeta has spent most of the time painting and worrying about me. I’ve been nauseous more often than not, and he wants me to ask my mother about it. That’s absolutely the last thing I want to do. Sure, she took the news of our toasting very well. I can’t imagine this going quite so well.

I’m lying on my side, watching as Peeta paints the sunset. It’s beautiful, swirling colors of yellow, orange, pink and the subtlest of blue are aweing. He looks at me.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” He asks, “I can hear you thinking from over here.” He grins, and I smile at him.

“Peeta,” I say, before I take a big breath.

 

**(What would be) Chapter 31: Peeta**

Shocked is an understatement. There have been moments in my life where I have been shocked, and when I think about it, they usually involve Katniss. The moment I heard her sing for the first time. When I saw her starving outside the bakery. When I heard Katniss volunteer for Prim during the reaping of the 74th Hunger Games. When my name was called right after. When Katniss kissed me in the cave. And on the beach. When she asked me to stay with her on the train on the Victory Tour. When Katniss pulled off my shirt, and suggested a toasting. We know each other better than anyone else in the world, and yet my beautiful girl always manages to surprise me.

She stares at me expectantly, and I realize it’s been several moments she’s expected a reply and I stared at her dumbly. “Are you…sure?” I ask carefully. Though I’m shocked, I’m not dumb enough to ask ‘how.’ I know exactly how this happened. I will never in my life forget _how_ it happened. I will never forget the sun shining on her face that day, and I won’t forget the look on her face right at this moment.

“I’m not entirely sure, but pretty sure,” she says, and her slight smile is radiant.

I pull her into my arms, and hold her tightly to me. I honestly thought it would take years to convince her. 5, 10, 15 years I expected it to take for her to agree. I’m even shocked she’s smiling at me, and not crying. My beautiful girl.  

“I guess that explains why you’ve been so pale and nauseous lately,” I say softly into her hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Terrified,” she says, and as I’m beginning to feel the terror settle deep in my stomach, I understand.

“It’ll be fine. We’ll make sure of it. This little one has us as parents. No one better to protect her. Or him,” I say, and calm both of us.

 


	31. Katniss

**Chapter 31: Katniss**

Peeta and I are standing in front of thousands of people from the districts and the Capital. He’s standing to my right as I clutch onto his hand. We are wearing the outfits designed for us by Cinna and I feel as though he’s given me strength to face this moment. Cinna sacrificed himself so I could be here, standing in front of thousands ready to tell them that Peeta and I believe in the abolishment of The Hunger Games. That we believe in a free election. And that we believe in the right of every individual to make their own choice.

My arrows are in their sheath on my back, and my bow is also around my shoulder. Peeta’s mace is strapped to his back, and he has a crossbow in his hands. The war is over. These weapons are really just symbols now. But I feel safer with my bow string around my chest, with Peeta armed and prepared by my side. The fighting in the Capital and the districts has stopped, but I have lingering paranoia that someone will not like the message I give and Peeta and I will be in danger. My paranoia is worse now that I know it wouldn’t just be my life at risk.

Haymitch and Effie are standing to my left. Haymitch has his hand on my left shoulder, and I’m thankful for his support. He understands me. We are really very much alike. I know that he is going to support what I have to say.

President Coin has been making a speech. I haven’t paid any attention to what she has said, but I’m sure it has something to do with District 13’s involvement in changing the world, and her ability to lead a better Panem. What she has to say doesn’t matter to me. They are just words, lies spouted by a psychotic politician.

Suddenly she’s looking at me. Peeta squeezes my hand and leads me to the microphone.

Peeta has always been willing to be the one to talk for the both of us. But this time, we both know it has to come from me.

“My name is Katniss Mellark. My home was District 12. Each District has come together to bring about change in Panem and we have been successful. There will be no more Hunger Games. There will be no more fighting among the Districts. We will finally be able to come together as a nation, in a place where we can prosper together, and _real_ peace can finally be achieved.”

The people in the crowd are cheering and clapping. President Coin is also clapping. The smile on her face seems forced and tight. Her eyebrow lifts as if telling me she expects a rousing and enthusiastic endorsement. She is going to be disappointed.

“We will live in a world where the districts will be free to trade their goods, where poverty has the potential to be non-existent, and where families will never again know the terror of sending their children on a train to face their deaths in an arena.”

Again, the people are cheering. I look to Peeta who is beaming at me. He’s always so proud of me, it’s difficult not to feel the wonder of that in this moment.

“Peeta and I are here today to support a free election, where every adult in Panem will be free to vote for their own leader. Peeta and I support the peoples’ ability to select their own leader despite this emotional time. We support the peoples’ ability to choose the leader that is right for everyone, and not the leader is only right for a select few,”

It was at that moment that I could see President Coin move out of the corner of my eye. Peeta grabs my arm.

People are no longer cheering, they are screaming.

I can hear Prim screaming my name. Prim? When did Prim get here?

Peeta roughly moves me behind him and Haymitch wraps me in his arms in a protective gesture. I start screaming as Peeta raises his crossbow, and shoots an arrow straight into Alma Coin’s heart. 

 

 


	32. Peeta

**Chapter 32: Peeta**

I killed her. I’ve never killed anyone before, even during two Games. Not intentionally. But I killed her without any hesitation.

She tried to kill Katniss. In front of thousands of people, districts and Capital alike, that have supported Katniss since the moment she volunteered for Prim in the reaping. I was watching her from the moment Katniss announced we would be supporting a free election. And I did not miss the look that came into her eyes when Katniss publically advocated for the people of Panem to have a choice. Coin looked at Katniss with pure hatred before she grabbed a weapon from the District 13 soldier at her side. My heart felt like it stopped. It felt like I was back in the Quell and hit the force field.

I didn’t hesitate to get Katniss behind me when I saw Coin begin to aim her weapon. I’m thankful Haymitch was there to hold Katniss back just in case. I’m thankful Katniss didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. I’m thankful my brain was able to process what was going on. I’m thankful she’s safe, even if I’m not.

I can’t imagine the hugely inflated ego Coin must have had to think she could get away with assassinating the Mockingjay in front of Panem. Not only were thousands in the crowd, but Beetee was broadcasting the speech throughout Panem. Katniss and I knew Coin wouldn’t take it well that we publically pushed for an election rather than supporting her presidency. And we’ve known for a while that she wanted us to die, but I had no idea she would try in such a public way.

Katniss’ mother and Prim arrived right before the press conference. They wanted to watch the world change, and I encouraged them to make the trip. I had ulterior motives for getting them here. Their arrival was going to be a surprise for Katniss, a chance for us to tell them about the baby in person. Once the people in the crowd could see what Coin was planning to do, I could hear Prim scream for Katniss. I’m thankful Prim is here and with Katniss right now. If anyone can comfort her right now it’s Prim.

I know Katniss is worried. She was terrified the moment she realized what I had done, and refused to let go of me for fear that I would be executed along with Snow’s advisors. It took Haymitch pulling her back, and Effie and Prim’s verbal reassurances that everything was going to be alright to get the look of terror to fade from her eyes. Still, it took three soldiers peeling her hands away from me to get her to physically let go. I kissed her desperately right before the soldiers led me away from her.

I was taken into custody immediately, not because they plan to execute me, but without a leader in place, they really had no idea what to do with me at all. I’m currently sitting in the room I had in the tribute center from our first Games. I don’t really know what’s going to happen, but I know the uncertainty has to be upsetting Katniss. Plutarch visited a few minutes after I was put in this room, and told me everything will be fine. Thousands of people saw what President Coin planned to do, and no one is looking to punish me for my response. Haymitch has also come to visit to update me about Katniss. They won’t let me see her, not until my situation is resolved.

I could hear her screaming the moment I lifted the crossbow and aimed it at Coin. I could feel her clutching onto my shoulders the second she was able to escape Haymitch’s arms. I could see her terrified face as she was trying to pull me away from District 13 soldiers. Honestly, I’m terrified too. Despite reassurances from Plutarch and Haymitch, I will be terrified until I see my girl on fire again, until I can feel the slightest bump in her belly under my hand, until I can press my ear against Katniss’ chest and hear her heartbeat.


	33. Katniss

**Chapter 33: Katniss**

I’m frantic. My thoughts are jumbled and as much as everyone has tried to calm me down, I won’t be calm until I see him safe. I know it’s not normal to be this attached to someone. I don’t care. Peeta and I haven’t lived ‘normal’ lives. We’ve been through more than what most people can even contemplate. ‘Normal’ doesn’t matter to us.

Prim is holding my hand, but it doesn’t help. I’ve taken care of Prim since our father’s death. It doesn’t feel right that she’s trying to take care of me right now. I don’t even know what to say to her. She looks so young. Have I ever been that young? It doesn’t feel like it.

My fingers are sore from being pried off of Peeta. My throat is sore from screaming his name while they took him away. My head is sore from crying. My heart is sore from the separation.

I struggle to eat and sleep and _live._ The only thing keeping me relatively grounded, is the small bump I’ve only begun to feel under my fingertips.

Peeta is being held in the old tribute center while an emergency election is thrown together. All eligible adults will be allowed to vote. Commander Paylor is thought to win the election by a landslide.

They won’t let me see him. Not while the leader of Panem is uncertain.

And because they won’t let me see him, I can feel myself going mad.


	34. Peeta

**Chapter 34: Peeta**

It takes several days before Commander Paylor is officiated into office. After that, however, it takes very little time for me to be released. President Paylor made the official announcement almost immediately after gaining the office of the Presidency. My actions were declared defensive. I’ve officially been exonerated based on the eye-witness testimony of thousands.

To avoid anger from Coin supporters primarily in District 13, however, several conditions were placed on my release. President Paylor has decided that I will be sent back to District 12 where I will remain indefinitely. I will be required to receive weekly counseling from Dr. Aurelius via phone calls. And, perhaps the most significant of all, Katniss and I will no longer be used as symbols.

The new government in place has not only abolished the Games and all arenas are in the process of demolition, but they are actively attempting to help every surviving Victor. It has been decided that all the remaining Victors will be required to receive weekly counseling from Dr. Aurelius, or another equally qualified doctor. At least until he deems it acceptable for them to stop. We have all been through so much, it makes sense that we may need help to come to terms with certain things we’ve seen. As far as I know, Haymitch has been the most vocal about opposing this change, but Effie quickly convinced him it was the right decision. I don’t even want to know _how_ she convinced him.

I’ve been separated from Katniss for nearly a week. Haymitch has kept me updated on her condition, and I’m thankful. You wouldn’t think that this amount of time would cause us both so much stress, but our nightmares that nearly disappeared the nights we spent in each other’s arms, have returned with a vengeance. It hurts my heart to think she’s suffering without me there. I’m thankful Haymitch is willing to tell me how she’s doing. Despite my feelings of helplessness, I think it would be worse not to know what she’s going through.

Leaving the rooms where I’ve been kept, Haymitch is there to greet me. I’m surprised my girl isn’t here. “I know who you’re expecting to see. Don’t worry. She’s waiting for us,” Haymitch says with a smirk. He escorts me to a train, the same train Katniss and I have taken several trips that have seemed hopeless. The first Hunger Games. The Victory tour. The Quarter Quell. Now, this train will take us back to 12. This trip will not be hopeless.

She’s waiting for me in front of the train. Her hair is braided in two braids exactly like the first time I ever saw her. She’s smiling at me, and though I notice she’s alarmingly thinner than the last time I’ve seen her, I smile back. She begins to run to me, and I catch her in my arms, spinning around as she wraps her legs around my hips. She captures my face in her hands and kisses me deeper than is decent with others present. We laugh when Haymitch makes a gagging noise and Effie shushes him. We haven’t been apart for any significant length of time since her rescue from the Capital, and it’s obvious neither of us did well with the separation.

After Katniss, I get an enthusiastic hug from Effie as well. Haymitch pats me hard on the back, and the four of us board the train together like we have so many times in the past.

Katniss and I escape to our room immediately. Our reunion is both emotional and passionate. Our lips refuse to part for hours. My hands don’t leave her skin. My eyes don’t leave her face, her body. And my ears miss none of her sighs.


	35. Katniss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before the epilogue! I hope you enjoy, and thank you all for reading!

 

**Chapter 35: Katniss**

Aside from freeing Peeta, President Paylor’s first official action has been to end the Games. She, and the government she is establishing, are committed to creating a world run by justice and not fear. She’s a strong voice of reason, and people respect her. After seeing her in action during the war, I respect her. I think she’ll make an excellent leader. Honestly, I just want to be left alone to live my life with my boy with the bread, and the little one we created.

President Paylor has assured Peeta and I that our work is done. No longer will we be forced to parade our lives in front of the world. We can go home to District 12 and begin to rebuild. No one is really surprised to find out that District 12 is where we would have gone regardless of Peeta’s ‘sentence.’ It’s our home.

For the first time, our time on the train wasn’t clouded with the fear of our imminent deaths. Even the Victory Tour held the threat of death. But on this trip, we were able to relax and just be together. We didn’t leave each other’s sight. We didn’t leave each other’s reach. Honestly, we didn’t leave each other’s arms. I didn’t even care when Haymitch teased me when we came out of our room to eat. To be able to be with Peeta so freely and without fear? It’s worth any teasing Haymitch gives me. Even if he comments on my hair. Or the fact that we were in bed at 3 in the afternoon. Or that Peeta cannot stop grinning.  

Peeta and I were not surprised when Effie and Haymitch decided to make their trip with us to 12 much more permanent. Once we came out of our room, Haymitch and Effie made the official announcement. We know that after Effie was taken captive and tortured in the Capital, she wasted no time in entering a relationship with Haymitch once they were reunited. They were inseparable. Maybe not as inseparable as Peeta and I, but close. They told us they wasted too many years with stolen glances and sarcastic flirting. Once they were faced with a real risk of a permanent separation, neither was willing to let the other go when they were together again. We’ll be neighbors now, but the title ‘neighbors’ seems entirely inadequate. We’re friends. Family. Haymitch and Effie will be, for all intents and purposes, grandparents to our child.

The four of us were extremely surprised, however, when two _very_ unexpected people decide to join us in 12.

Johanna refused to play any of President Snow’s games, resulting in the deaths of everyone she loved. It really comes as the biggest shock of all that Johanna, sarcastic, very bitter _Johanna_ is moving to 12 to be with Darius. I guess I really have been brainless…stuck in my own little world with Peeta and not paying any attention to what has been going on around me. Though Johanna will always be a little sarcastic toward me, I think she and Darius will be great for each other. And I’m honestly happy we’ll have some more friends nearby.

My mother has no interest in returning to this District. She has wanted an escape since my father died, and now she has a reasonable excuse to be somewhere entirely different. They need her help setting up a hospital in District 4. Annie and Finnick are newly married, with a baby of their own on the way. My mother will be there to help Annie with the birth.

My sweet little duck. My Prim. She is continuing to train to be a doctor in District 4. I strongly suspect when her training is over, she will return to District 12. But for now, my heart is absolutely full of pride. The little girl I volunteered for in the reaping, is no longer a little girl. She is growing up, becoming independent, and she will be an amazing doctor.

The remaining Victors have traveled throughout Panem. Some have returned home like Finnick and Annie. Some are trying someplace new like Johanna. Some stayed in the Capital, like Beetee who stayed to help set up new technological defense systems. All of the Victors are finding their place in a changed world.

My house in Victors’ Village has never felt like home. I haven’t been back since Peeta and I first visited 12 after the bombing. Peeta and I quickly decided to set up our permanent residence in Peeta’s house. Right next door to Haymitch and Effie. It smells like bread constantly, and we’ve hung up many of Peeta’s paintings. The painting he did of the sunset when I told him about the baby, _that_ sunset has now taken up residence in our room. An incredibly intimate reminder of a moment between us when we felt like everything was going to be alright. Even though we were terrified.

It took very little time for Peeta and I to discuss the best possible use for my house in the Village. We’ve offered it for use as the community home for children who have lost their parents. The previous community home was destroyed in the bombings, and many children throughout Panem have lost their parents during the war. And now those children will have a place to go. No longer will it be a place to fear, like I feared it so long ago when my father died and my mother checked out on life. We’ve been able to help employ a caring staff. Greasy Sae has taken charge over looking after the children, cooking and taking care of them. Peeta bakes their bread. Though the children have all led harsh lives, Peeta and I both enjoy watching them play in the courtyard. Laughing. Finding a place of peace here, just like we have.


	36. Epilogue: Peeta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter.
> 
> This has been so much fun to write. I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, so much. Biggest thank you ever to the kudos/comments/bookmarks I've received. It's been very cool for me to see people enjoying this storyl! :D
> 
> I started this when I kept thinking that if Peeta had been rescued instead of Katniss, it would have been a disaster for the revolution. The fact that she was left behind would have made him completely uncooperative with the people who left her behind, he would have refused to be the symbol of the revolution, and they would have worked so much harder to try to get Katniss out of the Capital that there wouldn't have been time to hijack her the way Peeta was. I also couldn't help imagining that Katniss would have gotten her stuff together and realized she loved him without all the added drama of him nearly choking her to death. I wanted to write a story where Prim and Finnick are fine, and Peeta and Katniss didn't have to grow back together, because they are never truly apart.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for taking this journey with me!

**Epilogue: Peeta**

My children have no idea they play on a graveyard.

Katniss has given me three beautiful children, with another on the way. The girls both have dark hair like Katniss, and my blue eyes. They dance so freely, because neither has ever truly had a care in the world. He is much more serious. From the moment he was born we knew that his temperament was much closer to Katniss. He has her beautiful eyes, but every other physical feature he got from me. I can’t wait to see what our new little one will be like.

We are in the meadow, having a family picnic. The closest people to us are here. Haymitch, Effie, Darius, Johanna. Prim, who returned to us once her training was finished. Even Finnick, Annie, and their two boys are visiting from District 4.

Katniss’ mother has never been back, though she occasionally writes us letters updating us on the life she has made for herself in District 4. She even occasionally updates us about Gale, who is in District 2 training new recruits. Katniss never pays attention to those particular details. I know that Katniss misses her mother sometimes, but her mother hasn’t really been present since her father died. Haymitch and Effie have filled parental roles for both Katniss and I, and they have made amazing grandparents for our children. So Katniss is comfortable with how things are, even if she feels sad sometimes.

My boy is toddling near Haymitch, picking dandelions and giving them to Effie. It’s difficult for any woman not to fall for those gray eyes, that light hair, and that wonderful smile he’s flashing at her now. I look at my family, Katniss smiles at me knowingly, and we laugh when Haymitch tells our boy to stop showing him up by giving his girl such beautiful flowers.

Haymitch even smiles now. He smiles at Effie. At my kids that call him ‘papa.’ And even occasionally at Katniss and I. Especially every time we’ve we let him know there is going to be a new baby.

My girls are skipping and holding hands. They sing as beautifully as their mother, and she’s taught them every song she knows. Right now, even the birds have stopped to listen.

My children have never known true fear. My girls know about the war and that Katniss and I played a part in it. We’ve been open and honest with the questions they have come to us with. About The Hunger Games, and what lead the people in the districts to start a revolution. Someday my son will know. So far, we’ve been able to avoid revealing some of the more gruesome details, but I worry every day about the time they will ask about our nightmares and I will have to explain in more detail than I ever have why they came. Why they won’t ever really go away. Katniss is always there to assure me that it will be alright. We will tell them in a way that makes them braver.

It’s taken years to rebuild 12. Only a few hundred from the district returned, but many of them brought newcomers. It didn’t take long after we returned to 12 to decide to rebuild the bakery. It took about six months to construct, and our eldest daughter decided to surprise us and was born the day of the grand opening. Katniss and the kids can be found at the bakery helping me most days. We’ve kept ourselves busy. She hunts. I bake. We teach the children how to do both. We prepare for the new baby that will make their way into the world in the next month or so. Shockingly, Haymitch only drinks on special occasions. And Effie is there is oversee it all.

Katniss can usually be found by my side, smiling, holding my hand. It’s been 10 years since the end of the war, and we still hold hands as if we are afraid someone or something will separate us. We have been able to live our lives in relative peace. Our names are now included in history books, but we’ve never again been called upon to be symbols for a cause. There are no more interviews. No more expectation that we parade our romance around. And never once has anyone dared ask us to show our children to the world.

When I have particularly difficult moments, I play a game in my head. I look at my family and think of all the moments each one has ever made _me_ smile. It’s a game that I play when I think too hard about my children playing on a graveyard, when my wife wakes up screaming after a nightmare, when I think about the family I lost here. But Katniss, our children, and our family have given me countless reasons to smile. This game I play gets to be time consuming after all these years, given how often they’ve all given me reasons to smile. But there are much worse games to play.


End file.
